It All Comes Back To You
by mandolin28
Summary: Rachel has an epiphany that leads her to rethink her choices since her break up with Finn. Returning to Lima for the wedding, she reconnects with him and herself. She comes to see that no matter what she does or where she goes or how hard she tries to forget, it all comes back to the same place... Finn Hudson. But can Finn still say the same about her?
1. Chapter 1

**I apologize profusely to anyone reading "I'm Rooting For You." My laptop has been dead and my super handy hubby got it up and running again FINALLY! I know that I am supposed to be working on that story, but I'm writer's blocked on that one right now because of all of the ideas running around in my head for what I'd like to see happen on the show. I haven't forgotten about it, though! So... with the kids out with their dad and a house to myself, I am going to indulge myself by getting some of them down... and then share them with y'all! I'm gonna have to multi chapter this bad boy! I hope it entertains you!**

It was the way he breathed as he ate that gave Rachel the next of many red flags she had gotten all day. She stared at her own plate while listening with ever increasing irritation to the loud way he exhaled through his nose while he chewed. She took a moment to glance at Kurt to see if he noticed it as well, and received the narrow eyed glare accessorized by a pair of pursed lips from him that she had gotten so used to since she had asked Brody to move in a week ago without so much as a head's up. Shrugging lightly and heaving a heavy sigh, she turned her gaze back to her what? Boyfriend? Well, he lived there, so that word was the appropriate choice. It just felt wrong in her mouth all of a sudden, like it didn't quite belong to what her eyes were looking at. She briefly equated it to looking at the color red and calling it blue. It just didn't feel right. Just then, the object of her quandary caught her staring and smirked, taking a sip of his drink.

"You're so freakin' hot when you stare into space like that," he said, swallowing his last bit with a smirk that barely closed over his teeth.

His teeth. Why had she never noticed how big they were? Had they grown? She felt the disgust on her own face and quickly recovered with a smile of her own. It was the snort from Kurt that caught her attention as he grinned knowingly and went back to his broccoli stir fry. Why is it that just a week ago her instincts told her to ask him to move in and now she was sitting here with an all consuming urge to plug his nose with her chopsticks?

"Excuse me," she said hastily, "I'll be right back." She placed her napkin on the table and quietly exited the table. She retreated to her room where she stood reeling from the days events.

Things had started out normally... _She woke up with Brody's hand groping her chest and pushed him away, reminding him that she wanted to take that part of their relationship slowly after his indiscretion with their teacher. Right. Because after a guy moves in it's a good time to slow things down. After that it was coffee and toast, shower, and a torturously long trip into the city. But, on the train, Kurt received a phone call. She knew immediately who it was because of the ringtone. Kurt, though still peeved, gave her a sympathetic smile before answering. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then jumped a bit when she felt Brody take her hand. And that's when the gnawing sickness began in her stomach. She somehow felt guilty for holding his hand in front of Finn. Now, logic assured her that he couldn't see her and she was being silly, but she couldn't shake the feeling and retrieved her hand, pretending to search for something in her bag. They weren't together. They hadn't been in months. She had someone living with her for God's sake but hearing the faint trace of his voice through Kurt's phone and hearing the way Kurt was laughing at something he must have said was making the air around her thick and the butterflies in her stomach felt more like an antelope stampede. _

_It was so easy when there were no reminders of Finn Hudson. But, the second his presence entered the picture, she had the feeling that nothing about her life was right. She could push him out of her head to live the life she thought she needed to live. She could forget him long enough to become someone else. A girl who wasn't shredded by losing him. A girl who didn't need him in order to feel complete. A girl who, come hell or high water was going to move on one way or another. Kurt's conversation registered in her mind and she caught the tail end of it._

"_Yes, we will be there on Thursday. Burt is picking us up at the airport at 2:15 so I should be home when you get there. How's Mr. Schue? Is he nervous?... Ha! I bet she is quite the picky bride considering... You have to count the pebbles that go into the centerpieces? Does she know who she's asking?... Language, dear brother, I'm kidding!"_

_She turned to smile at Kurt and the banter between the two when his eyes widened for the slightest of moments. "Um... she's excited to see everyone... Yes, everyone... Nope! Just us." Kurt sent her a look of alarm. At that, her head snapped around to find Brody, head back, earbuds in place. Oblivious. Most of the time._

"_But, hey, I have to go. It's almost our stop. Yes, Finn, I will bring you cookies from Magnolia... I can't wait to see you, either. … Bye, big brother... I love you, too, you big lug."_

_Rachel eyed Kurt for a long while. He returned to his magazine and pretended not to notice. Finally unable to take her stare he closed his magazine and turned to face her._

"_He's good. Looks like they're going to Regionals after all. Something about the Warblers and Captain America like scandal. I didn't catch all of it because it was in Finn speak, but I got the gist."_

"_That's- that's great. Really great!" she said enthusiastically. "I imagine he is so happy!"_

"_He is. He sounded better than I've heard him since Sept- in a while." He finished uncomfortably and noted the shadow of sadness that crossed her eyes._

_Biting her lips together to keep the tears at bay and shoving the brightest of smiles on to her face she said, "then I'm happy for him." She looked over to the man on the other side of her and felt just an inkling of wrongness. But, he's what she had right now, and it felt nice to be wanted. The train came to a halt and she nudged him to wake him up. The three of them exited the train and walked through the crowded walkways to NYADA, all parting ways at the door. Brody bent to kiss her and she let him, but it felt strange to her. Like she was apprehensive about it. Kurt gave a short goodbye and headed toward his first class when she called out to him. He turned to see her running to where he stood. _

"_Kurt, look, I know that things have been so strained between us since I asked Brody to move in without asking you. And I am so sorry. I was just living in the moment and I didn't think about how that moment would affect you. It was selfish and thoughtless and I'm just... I'm sorry."_

_Kurt eyed her narrowly before giving her a wry smile. "Well, Ms. Berry, I have come to expect selfish and thoughtless from you from time to time. At least you didn't send me to a crack house," he said dryly bringing them both in to a hug and a full fit of laughter. "But, I've come to expect warmth and support, too. So, I forgive you. But, Rachel, I have to be serious. What were you thinking?"_

_She thought a moment. She had no answer to that question because she had been asking herself the same thing for days and coming up totally empty. "I wasn't, I guess. I was just feeling. And in that moment, I didn't want him to leave. He was warm and he was saying these nice things. It was nice to feel that way."_

_Kurt sighed and took her by the arm to lead her to a nearby bench. "Rachel, I know that I have pushed you to make a lot of changes. I thought they would be good for you. You know? Help you move on and heal from you and Finn. But, I have to be honest. You are worrying me. My Rachel is lost in there somewhere and I'm more than a little afraid I won't get her back. I'm sure you like Brody, but moving in? You will probably get mad at me for what I'm about to say, and that's OK, but you can't create what you and Finn had with this person. With any person. It's rare. It's special. And there is no way that Brody Weston can possibly love you as much as my well meaning, yet misguided brother."_

_She let out a frustrated sigh. "Kurt, this isn't about Finn-" she said a little weakly._

"_Isn't it? You can talk about being over him and you can date, screw, move in with whomever you like. But you can't convince me that any of that talk is true when your face does what it does when he calls. Or when he's mentioned. Or when you hear anything sung by Steve Perry."_

"_I'm fine. I'm with Brody. I'm fine," she said firmly._

"_Who are you convincing? Me? Or yourself?" He gave her shoulder a squeeze, kissed her cheek and left her there to think about what he said._

_Classes were quite a chore for the rest of the day. She couldn't give them her full attention so she got lots of constructive criticism which she always loved so very much. But, today, she had no right to any righteous indignation. She knew she was all over the place. By the last class of the day, which she shared with Brody, she was physically and mentally exhausted._

"_Hey, hotness," she heard from over her shoulder as she laid her bag in the corner. His arms came around her waist and she smiled tightly._

"_Hey, yourself," she returned, wriggling out of his hold and beginning her stretches. What do you say when you've made a huge mistake and someone else is involved in it and your decision about said mistake will affect their life as well? Rachel chose to say nothing at all and continued stretching._

"_You OK? You have been weird since this morning," he asked pointedly._

"_I'm fine. Just a little overwhelmed with classes and the wedding and all," she said, looking at him from the corner of her eye and willing him to just drop it._

_He knelt beside her to help her with her stretches. It was something they had done hundreds of times over the course of the year, but it made her feel uneasy this time for some reason. She allowed it, not knowing how to express her feelings._

"_You sure you don't want me to go with you?" _

"_I'm sure," she replied so quickly it caught them both off guard. "I mean, I'm going to be so busy. We are going to perform and I have to help the bride and spend time with my family..._

"_It's fine. I just thought I'd offer." He shrugged with a smile as class started. She watched him walk away. This was her first New York friend. The man who had supported her and been so nice. She was dating this person. Living with this person and yet, she had the nagging sensation that she was only pretending. Pretending. Just the word alone possessed the power to take her breath away._

"_Berry! Let's go," called her instructor and she snapped out of her stupor and scurried to the center of the room, hitting her pose perfectly._

And now here she stood in her room, heavy with the knowledge that she has been lying to herself and everyone else for months. This wasn't love in New York. This was a lackluster substitution for what her heart refused to sever. She sunk down onto her bed and stared at the curtain she called a door. Her mind wandered a bit and her eyes darted to the dresser on the other side of her room. Almost frantically, she made her way to the bottom drawer, opening it to reveal a gold wooden box about the size of her palm. Sitting cross legged on her floor, she opened it with a tear ready to fall. She dared reach inside to pick up the cool metal between her finger and thumb. It hadn't lost its sparkle and as she grasped it tightly in her fist, she squeezed her eyes shut, sending her tears cascading down her cheeks. She brought her fist to her chest and held it there for a long moment. That moment was shattered when she heard footsteps coming toward her. She quickly threw the ring into the box and shoved it back into the drawer, scurrying back to her bed and grabbing a book. A half a second later, the curtain opened and, while she was expecting Brody, she was relieved to see Kurt standing there, concern etched onto his face.

"Hey," he said softly. "Scoot." She complied, ditching the book, and he sat down close beside her. "So... you gonna tell me why you so abruptly left me to dine with your gentlemen caller?"

She looked at him briefly before looking away with a sigh. "Did you know?" she asked in a voice so quiet it took him a second to register the words.

"That paisley is a no go for everyone? Yes. Fashion 101."

"Kurt..." she whined.

"I'm sorry. Know what?"

"That this thing with Brody was a big fat lie I was telling myself and that that revelation has effectively wrecked me today?"

He was silent while deciding how exactly to answer this question. "Well... if you're asking if I knew it was probably too fast? The answer is yes. If you're asking if I knew you were in it for some of the wrong reasons? I guess my answer would also be yes. If you're asking if I knew it was hurting you? The answer is no. But, clearly, I was mistaken. What are you thinking?"

"Remember the night we painted this place?" Her eyes were focused on the wall beside her window. She shifted her eyes to his. He nodded sympathetically. "You told me that my freedom was a gift Finn gave me."

"I remember," Kurt reached over to hold her hand. He knew that uttering Finn's name still stung and it broke his heart for them both.

"I'm wasting it. He didn't let me go so that I would replace him with the first guy to appreciate my butt. I'm wasting that gift."

"Well... I don't -"

"Why haven't you said anything? Why haven't you stopped me?"

Kurt looked straight into her eyes with all seriousness. "I've been asking myself that question all week."

"You have?"

"I have. When I woke up to a wet, towel covered Brody asking me when rent was due, I knew you had gone to the bad place." He watched her eyes widen and spoke quickly to stop her from over reacting. "I guess subconsciously I knew before that, but you seemed so happy. And to be honest, after Blaine and I broke up I was so jaded toward love or happiness or life in general that I was all for you trying new things. Seizing opportunities. I certainly didn't have any close to the ones you did. You were living my dream. Then, things with Blaine got easier and I got accepted to NYADA and I started to see things more clearly. But, by then, you were so far into this thing that I didn't know how to stop you. If it helps I was another turkey molestation and one more of his ogre breaths from solving the problem for you."

She laughed out loud and he followed suit. She laid her head over on his shoulder and he laid his head on the side of hers. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. I haven't been the best friend to you since we've been here."

"Stop it, Kurt. You are the best friend a girl could have. Our problem is that we are both drama queens with delusional fantasies about life and we sometimes lack the wherewithal to pull each other back from the brink of destruction."

"Well said."

"What do I do now?"

"That's up to you. But I think you already know," he said, sweetly kissing her forehead. "He went for a run, by the way. I'll be in my room. I love you."

"I love you, too. Thank you, Kurt."

"It's what I do," he said with a shrug and a smile before closing her curtain and leaving her to her thoughts.

An hour and a half later, Brody returned to the apartment. He took the news quite well considering he was essentially homeless. He was quite certain he could keep his own apartment since it had only been three days and he was still in the process of packing. He asked if they could still see each other and she agreed, with the condition that it was just as friends. When he asked if it was about Finn, she answered honestly. "No. This is about Rachel." She let him stay the night on the couch and for the first time in months was able to fall asleep easily with a smile on her face.

Thursday came quickly and she and Kurt left classes early to make their flight. Midway through, just after the stewardess had refilled their sodas, Kurt noticed Rachel biting her lip and playing with her rings, a sure sign that she was nervous about something.

"Alright. Spill. What's eating away at you as if I don't already know." He smiled a knowing smile.

"He said no contact and I called anyway. He said not to let him know when I come home and there's just no way around it this time. It's been so long since I've seen his face. Since I've heard his voice. He is still such a part of me, regardless of what I've said or our circumstances. I just don't know how I'm going to feel when I see him, you know? And it's a wedding. A wedding, Kurt. He and I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to that particular event."

"Calm down, Barbra. You are going to be fine. This isn't like last time where we feel we've something to prove. Everyone knows how awesome we are doing in New York. It was silly and vain of us to show up with such attitude last time. The break ups aren't fresh anymore and besides, Finn is hardly pining away all the time. He's really doing special things with the glee club. Blaine says it's like he was born to lead them or something."

"That's amazing!" Rachel's heart soared and her smile nearly split her face in two. It was what she had always wanted for him. For him and everyone else to see him for what he really was. A talented performer and an excellent leader. She was extremely proud. And it felt good to let herself acknowledge it. Then her mind came crashing back to her reality. "But, last time was so awful. I really don't want to repeat it."

"You've called him since then, right? Was that awful? Did he hang up on you? Tell you not to call again?" She shook her head. "Look, sometimes things are said out of hurt that we don't mean. Everyone knows that. You guys are going to be fine. And, who knows? Maybe the two of you will walk away from this visit with a renewed friendship."

She nodded in agreement. "OK. You're right. We are grown ups now. We've gotten some distance. We'll be fine." And that became the inner mantra she repeated to herself over and over in her head for the duration of the flight.

They had a layover in Philadelphia where they were informed of a delay of over three hours. Kurt called his Dad to let him know they'd be late getting in. So, at 5:36, they touched down in Dayton, one of the closest airports to Lima, a little over an hour away. After retrieving their luggage, they went searching for Burt. They had just made their way into the main lobby when Rachel spotted their ride. Only, instead of Burt Hummel, it was one Finn Hudson, standing with his back to them, one hand in the pocket of his much more tailored than usual jeans, the other attached to his phone. His broad shoulders, covered in the brown leather of his jacket causing him to stand out in the small crowd. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. _It's just Finn. He was your closest friend. He was your fiance. Snap out of it! _Just as Rachel's heart sputtered back into action, Kurt's phone rang, startling her and breaking her out of the trance like state she was in. Kurt had followed her eye line, and had barely realized what was happening when his eyes bulged as he looked down to see Finn was calling him. He looked at Rachel, gauging just how serious her panic was, and finding her at least functioning, he answered.

"Finn! Why ever are you calling?" he asked playfully, taking Rachel by the elbow and coercing her into movement.

"Dude, Burt couldn't make it after your flight got delayed cause he forgot to pick up his tux and had to go take care of that, so he sent me. Where are you?"

"Right behind you," Kurt answered, causing Finn to spin around to face them. His eyes fell on Kurt first, pulling him into a bear hug that lifted him off the ground slightly. "It's so awesome to see you, Kurt!"

He was mid hug when his eyes fell behind his brother's back to land on the tiny brunette that was staring at her boots. His jubilation faded and his face softened into a warm smile. He loosened his hold on his brother, and slipped behind him. "Rachel," he said with a hint of reverence enveloping his voice.

She smiled shyly, unable to make eye contact for too a long stretch. "Hi, Finn."

She took a deep breath when he moved to hug her and steadied her emotions. She felt his warmth before his arms wrapped around her waist and she brought hers up to capture his neck. It was a slow, careful hug that lasted just a smidge longer than the norm for fa hug between friends. Her face found the warmth of his neck and she breathed him in, her stomach flipping and her heart racing against his chest. A discreet clearing of the throat from over Finn's shoulder forced them to part, though unwillingly. He smiled down at her and she back up at him. He took her garment bag from her shoulder and placed it on his own and reached down to grab her rolling suit case as well. She couldn't help but smile at him adoringly. Always the perfect gentleman.

"Thank you," she uttered softly and instinctively caressing his arm. His eyes followed her hand to look at it on his arm and just like that she removed it.

"Well? Ready to get home?" Finn asked, motioning with a nod for his guests to follow him.

Home. It was a concept that was no longer tangible to her. Was Lima home? Or was it New York? She used to think Finn was her home, and when she was here last, convinced herself that it was no longer the case. But, returning to his arms just now? That felt more like home than any place she'd ever been.

The ride to Lima was lively to say the least. Rachel chose the backseat to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness and was content to just listen to the boys catching up. Kurt told Finn stories of his first weeks at NYADA and Finn told Kurt about being on the other side of the high school experience. Rachel liked that she was able to assess Finn without him knowing. She saw that he was thinner, his jaw more defined. He was sporting the slightest hint of scruff which she found incredibly sexy, much to her own surprise. She lost herself in the sound of his voice and though he was sharing with Kurt, she was intrigued by his stories and thrilled to hear contentment. He caught her staring three times when he glanced into the rear view mirror to check her out as well. She simply turned her attention to the window as if he wasn't fully aware of her facade. She even thought she caught him smirking the third time. She couldn't help but smile to herself. It took thirty seconds with Finn Hudson for all of her hard work at moving on and becoming someone else to begin to unravel. He was her Kryptonite and she was getting weaker by the second.

They pulled into the parking lot of the hotel where everyone was staying. The reception was to be held in its ball room, and everyone thought it would be wise to book rooms so they could all hang out and wouldn't have to drive when Puck inevitably got them all illegally drunk. Rachel's dads were a little disappointed, but she promised them quality time at some point during her stay.

Getting out and stretching her legs, she walked to the back to open the hatch and was met by Finn, who beat her to the handle and grabbed her luggage before she had the chance. Rachel froze in place with a look that gave her the appearance of a wounded kitten. The last time he had gotten this suitcase out of this car he had sent her away. Finn caught the look in her eyes and felt it, too. His eyes spoke a silent apology and he shut the door softly. He hesitantly brought his hand up to squeeze the back of her neck. It was such a familiar action and it comforted her immediately somehow.

"Well, I can see that I am on my own in the luggage department. Really, Finn, what's one more?" Kurt snipped jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh. I'm sorry, little brother. You know me. Counting skills of a four year old," he smirked, one eyebrow raised. He looked to Rachel with a sly smirk and they shared a laugh at his remark.

"I knew that was going to come back to bite me in the ass," Kurt laughed with them. He got his luggage as well and they went to check in.

They found that they were all on the same floor. Kurt took his luggage to his room and Finn had already gotten settled in his room. He carried Rachel's bags to her door, which just happened to be right beside his own. He watched as she inserted her key card and followed her in, placing her luggage by her door. By some twist of kick you in the nuts karma, he noticed that they actually had adjoining rooms. He chose to keep this observation to himself, assuming she'd figure it out eventually. She turned around and they stood in painfully awkward silence glancing from each other to various objects in what felt like a shrinking room.

"Well... I'm uh... I'm gonna go," he said clumsily, gesturing toward the door with his thumb and turning to go.

"OK. Thanks, Finn. For picking us up and for carrying my bags. You're still very chivalrous," she said with a blush on her cheeks when she caught his dimpled smile at the shared memory that seemed so long ago he almost remembered it in black and white.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a chuckle. "So, we'll all meet at the bar downstairs in an hour? Everybody is coming, so, it should be a pretty fun night." He awkwardly stood in the doorway fumbling with the door latch.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna shower and change and I'll meet you guys there." Rachel felt so conflicted. Part of her wanted him to just go so her heart could unclench and part of her wanted him to stay forever. She could actually picture herself grabbing him by the collar and dragging him into the room, shutting the door behind them and making up for lost time. She was getting lost in the fantasy when he caught her attention.

"I'll see you then," he said, turning to walk away.

"Finn," she called, stopping his exit.

"Yeah, Rach?" He turned to face her, his eyes piercing her soul and sending chill bumps through her body.

She took a deep breath. "It's... really good to see you," she said with a small shrug and a slight smile.

"You, too," he said. His smile was sad, but at the same time it was something else. Longing? He closed the door behind him and she fell back onto her bed. This was going to be a long weekend.

**I really hope you like this one! It will be fairly short and I hope to finish it soon. Please let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I am so glad y'all are happy with this one! I just need something to make me feel better about this show! Thanks for going on the ride with me!**

Rachel stared into the mirror in the bathroom of her hotel room. She was dressed in her new signature black, short (of course) but not too tight, sexy but not slutty (she checked on that with Kurt... six times). Her hair was loose, make up more subtle than she had become accustomed to as of late. Her stomach was in knots. She hadn't seen any of them since the play and even then she didn't see them for long. She saw Finn the longest, but was still trying to unlive that moment. What did they think of her? What had he told them? Knowing Finn, he hadn't said anything at all. He would never disrespect her by running her down to their friends. Knowing Finn. Did she really know Finn anymore? From what she could gather he was the same sweet gentle guy she had always loved, but there were definite differences. For one, in the car on the drive from the airport, he didn't stumble over his thoughts. She had listened as he recounted many experiences with a solid vocabulary filtered through earned wisdom. Plus, he hadn't cursed at anyone on the freeway. Not even the good curse words. And there was a quiet strength radiating from him that was a little breathtaking. But, one thing was certain. He still looked at her the same way. Sure it was clouded with awkwardness and uncertainty, but it was warm. It was love. One thing about being under the soft brown eyes of Finn Hudson... she always knew she was loved. And that revelation pierced her belly, causing her to bring a hand to it to calm it. What was she doing? When and how did she ever decide that she was better off without him? Every moment since she realized that she was losing herself was like coming out of a stark darkness toward the brightness of day. Things became clearer the closer she got to the light. And she wondered if that light was coming from F...

A knock at the door cut off the thought that was forming in her busy head. Answering the door, she was stunned to find Santana Lopez standing on the other side. Tall and perfect as ever with the tightest dress she had seen her wear to date. Fire engine red. Typical.

"Well, look at you, Berry. I guess New York water and screwing narcissistic man whores made you into a full fledged grown up. Nice dress," she said with an unapologetic smile and the offer of a hug.

Rachel accepted, rolling her eyes. "Nice to see you, too, Santana."

Rachel stepped aside with a non threatening glare, letting her old frenemy into the room. She couldn't help but smile subtly at this girl who was never anything more or less than exactly who she was. It struck Rachel that she might actually have a thing or two to learn from this girl.

"So... for the sake of time, let me get us all caught up," Santana began as she threw herself on the edge of the huge bed, legs crossed, leaning back on her hands casually. "I went to college in Kentucky, a place where, instead of eHarmony, they just rummage through the guest book of the last family reunion and set you up with whomever is furthest removed, to be a cheerleader. Done with me. Now you. You went to the big city with the world wide open to you, met a total douche bag who told you to change into a hard nosed bitch of a performing New Yorker, and got you to go along with it by calling you a hot piece of ass. Then, Eyeore shows up whining about his directionless existence and you kick him in the nads with a break up that pulverized the tiny shreds of his heart that weren't already crushed by his own failures. He came here to mope around and found out he's pretty damn good at something other than throwing a ball, turning a wrench, or shining the pedestal he had you on. In the meantime, you continued down a path of self destruction that included wearing more eyeliner than Adam Lambert and asking the previously mentioned douche bag to move in with you... Now, I'm assuming that since said douche bag isn't here with you, you have actually decided to drop the fembot crap and start getting real?"

Rachel stood in stunned silence with her mouth open slightly. It had been awhile since she had fallen under the brutally honest words of Santana Lopez so she had to digest it slowly and though she knew she should feel indignant and offended, she couldn't think of one word in that soliloquy that was untrue. Maybe it could have been delivered more delicately, but true all the same. So instead of defending herself or throwing a Rachel Berry sized fit, she answered with the first words that came to mind.

"In a nutshell... yeah," she said casually crossing her arms and shrugging her shoulders with a smirk on her lips.

Stunned by Rachel's laissez faire response, Santana burst into laughter. "Come sit, midget," she said through her giggles and patted the bed next to her. Rachel came to join her as requested. Her laugther fading, Santana grew serious. Soft, even.

"Rachel, I'm just going by what I heard from Ladyfingers. And I, Gracias a Dios, do not live in your head. But, you are not being true to you. And I just hate to see it. I mean, after all I put you through? I was an out of control bitch to you everyday for years and you didn't budge in being exactly who you were and I was always so freaking jealous of that. So, while I have you alone and before we go down there and drink too much and tell too many secrets and then get crazy busy with this wedding, I just wanted you to know that if you want to talk to someone who is completely neutral, I'm here. Because I know what it's like to live a lie. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even you," she said with a nudge of her elbow, bringing her arm to rest around Rachel's shoulders.

Rachel didn't quite know what to say. Never in a million did she think she would be sitting here, the friend of this girl. This girl who ridiculed her, hurt her in unimaginable ways on purpose. But, somehow by the end of it all, there was no other word for her but friend.

"Thank you, Santana. That's very sweet. And this past week is shining a light on many things I have been clueless about... Can I ask you a question?" Her inquiry was hesitant. She got a nod. "How is Finn? Really? I mean I get the edited version from Kurt so..."

Santana raised her brows as if to check for certainty. Rachel nodded slightly.

"Well, _now_ he's actually pretty great. He's more confident. He's happy. He's been going head to head with Sue and it hasn't killed him yet." She paused to share a chuckle with the intrigued girl beside her. "But, he wasn't. For a long time. He has worked for every ounce of happiness he has right now. It hasn't been easy for him. And after you guys broke up, we were all a little worried. But, he survived, you know?"

Rachel gave another little nod, trying to hold back her tears. She tried to toss the image of a broken Finn out of her head. "Did he tell you? What happened with us?"

"No, and Kurt wouldn't spill any of it," she said with feigned exasperation. "Sure, the time he caught you two going at it on the lawn furniture he gave every gruesome detail. This? Not a word."

Rachel cringed in embarrassment and shook it off before she stood. "He came home to me. He just showed up at my door after four months of not hearing from him at all. No calls. No texts. No letters. Nothing. I waited and waited and tried and tried to reach him and... nothing. Not a word. So, yes, I met Brody and he made me feel wanted. He made me feel like I didn't have to do any of the work. He chased me and charmed me and I liked being on that end of things. Then, one day, something in me just snapped. I was missing out on life. A life he sacrificed to give me. I decided to seize every opportunity that came my way, to hell with the consequences. Finn had obviously let go and it was time I did the same. And, so I had Brody over for dinner. Which, happy coincidence, happened to be the same night Finn decided to reappear. We were actually kissing when Finn knocked on the door."

"Holy shit!"

"Tell me about it."

"Continue."

Rachel was pacing as she spoke, playing with her rings. She realized this was the first time she was telling this story to anyone but Kurt. It was a little cathartic.

"So... after the world's most awkward introduction, Brody left . Whatever I thought I was feeling left with him. And I didn't care because I had Finn back. Finn told me about his leg and that he was too embarrassed to face me and I forgave all of it because all that mattered was that he was there. With me. But, he felt out of place and he found out I kissed Brody and he left in the middle of the night. With no goodbye. That was the third time he had abandoned me. The first was on that damned train, which after reflecting, was the most heroic thing anyone could have ever done for me. But, it still nearly killed me. Then, when he went MIA for four months. And then sneaking out and leaving me there with more unanswered questions. I followed him home and told him I couldn't do it anymore. I was hurt and I had a right to be."

"No arguments here," Santana said, hands held up in defense. "He was being an idiot. But, you also know Finn better than anyone. Couldn't you see how lost he was?"

"Of course I could. That's what hurt the most, I think. I have always been his best friend regardless of where we stood romantically. But, I was lost, too. And I couldn't help him find his way when I couldn't even find my own."

"And, you call this Jekyll and Hyde crap 'finding your way?'"

Rachel rolled her eyes and sighed. "Thank you. For that. And, to answer your question? I did think that's what this was. I thought that if I just grew up and acted like someone who couldn't get hurt, then I wouldn't be hurt."

"Did it work?"

"What do you think? You acted like someone who couldn't be hurt. You hid behind the facade of a totally different person. Did you hurt?"

"Hell, yeah, I hurt."

"Me, too. And I didn't just hurt for me. I hurt for Finn. I could hear his conversations with Kurt. Kurt apologizing for encouraging me. It killed me to know that he was hurting. But, I pretended that it didn't long enough that I started to believe it. And, then I won the showcase, which is-"

"I know what it is. Schue Jr. couldn't shut up about it," she said wryly.

"He told you?"

"He told everybody. At nauseum. It's how he got them to all come back after they lost sectionals."

Rachel recalled their conversation. She was able to help him after all. Her heart broke a little bit more.

"Don't get all mopey on me now... you were saying?" Santana prodded.

"Oh... Um?..."

"Showcase."

"Right. Well, after I won, I felt like I could take on the world. And I made the decision to act on my impulses."

"Let me guess? Brody was an impulse?"

"Yeah. He was. And it was fun. There weren't any real emotions involved. We talked shop and ran lines and laughed. It was fun and free and frivolous. I had never had that kind of relationship. With Finn, it was either intensely passionate or destructively heartbreaking. Always something at stake. But, with Brody? I couldn't be hurt. He could put me on a train or a boat or a space ship bound for the moon and I would have been fine with it. He could have stopped taking my calls and it wouldn't have bothered me in the least, other than the discourtesy, of course."

"OK... fine. You were sowing your oats and living the life... but what the hell possessed you to ask him to move in with you?"

"It felt good to be in charge." She shrugged as if it made all the sense in the world.

"Well, damn, Rachel, if you want to be in charge, you take a management position. You don't shack up with somebody!"

"I know that! Now. I've been doing a lot of soul searching this week. It's over. I told him to move out. I've been doing all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons and I think I actually figured out a lot about myself in the process."

Reeling from the amount of information she had just been given, Santana stood and inhaled deeply. "So what are you going to do now? You and Lumps gonna keep acting like not talking about any of this is a good thing? Because, I gotta tell ya. If you talked to him like you just talked to me? I don't think you two would be as miserable as you are."

"I'm not miserable, Santana. I haven't been miserable since September." Her arms were crossed in defiance.

"Well... maybe you should give it a try."

"You want me to be miserable?" Rachel was officially offended.

Santana moved toward her, placing her hands on Rachel's arms. "No, squirt. I want you to be honest. And if you were honest, you'd know how miserable you are without him. God knows I did my fair share in tearing you guys apart. But, at the end of the day I gotta say that I've never seen two people work better than the two of you. It was real, Berry. We all knew it. We kind of hated both of you for it. But, we knew." She smiled at Rachel, who was half way smiling back. "Now... I'm glad you got that out. But, I've had all the heavy I want for this weekend. So, let's go downstairs, join our friends, and see if we can't have a little fun."

Rachel surprised Santana by throwing her arms around her neck and the taller girl couldn't help but chuckle. "Thank you," Rachel whispered.

"Whatever," Santana shrugged.

"You know..." Rachel started, "It sure would be nice to have you around in New York..."

"Don't tempt me," she replied, taking Rachel's arm and walking out the door.

The restaurant/bar downstairs was buzzing. It was somewhat dark, with candles lighting the tables and white lights draping the trees and other structures. Rachel and Santana received quite a few stares as they entered the area. They were striking in their beauty, and Rachel marveled at the fact that she was getting as many looks as her taller more well endowed friend. As they rounded the corner, they were greeted by the rousing hellos and enthusiastic hugs of their dinner companions. Rachel was hugging Brittany while trying to explain that she didn't bring her an apple slice because New York wasn't really a big apple when she caught the eye of a certain ex fiance. He was in a jacket, shirt, and tie. And she could tell it was one he had actually had to tie. His eyes didn't leave her as he raised his bottle of non alcoholic beer. She smiled at him when he nodded his head in greeting, but she had to avert her eyes, unable to take the intensity with which he was looking at her. She was pulled away by Puck, who she was surprisingly emotional to see.

"Berry, how the hell are you?" He whooped as he spun her around.

"I'm great, Noah. How are you?"

"Still prowling!"

"Good to know some things never change," she smiled affectionately.

"You seen my boy over there ogling?" he dropped his voice to a whisper. "I'd say he's a sure thing if you're the one asking." He waggled his eyebrows and Rachel just shook her head.

"Oh, we already have plans to do it on the roof later," she said, leaning in secretively. "Wanna join us?" She asked, thrilled when his eyes bulged and his face covered itself in crimson.

"What the hell happened to you up there?" he said, finally able to laugh.

Rachel simply giggled and moved to her seat next to Kurt. As everyone found their seats, the hairs on her neck stood up when she felt him file into the seat beside her. She turned to smile, unsure of what to do or say next. She looked to him questioningly. He could feel her about to panic. Thankfully, he took the initiative.

"So, I've been thinking... that no contact thing..." he said, his voice low as he watched her eyes fill with tension and he knew that he might have stung her a little. He didn't like it. "I don't know what moron came up with that idea, but I'm sure he didn't really mean it."

She smiled and looked away. Turning back she said, "Well, the idiot that agreed with the moron thinks it was a pretty stupid idea as well."

Finn's smile lit her up inside. This felt good.

He leaned closer to her ear to whisper, "Well, whaddya say we say 'screw em' and have all the contact we want?"

She bit her lip and grinned. If it has been anybody but Finn, it could've been taken suggestively. But, she knew he was just being Finn.

"Sounds good," she said. "Just to spite them?"

"Yeah," he said and offered her his fist. She balled up her own and pounded his with it. They laughed together for real for the first time in what seemed an eternity. They shared a look. It was a look between friends. It was a look that held promise. It was a look that held hope.

It was short lived, because around them was the chaos of old friends reuniting after what had been a long stretch. Both were pulled into the reverie but stolen glances and "accidental" brushes of hands, elbows, knees, served as reminders of the presence of the other throughout dinner.

"It wasn't as dramatic as you are making it out to be, Kurt," Finn said begrudgingly.

"I slushied. myself. Finn. That is pretty damn dramatic if you ask me." The whole table erupted into hysterical laughter, except for Finn, who still felt remorse over the whole thing. "Oh, lighten up, big brother! We're family now..." Kurt reached across Rachel to give Finn an affectionate nudge.

Mercedes contributed to the walk down memory lane. "What about when we all got in trouble for getting drunk and Brittany barfed in Rachel's face?"

"I'm still traumatized," Rachel joked.

"No, Rachel, you're really real," Brittany responded.

Everyone exchanged glances to see if anyone knew what the hell the blonde was talking about this time. Rachel got there first. "No, Brittany. Not _dramatized. Traumatized._ As in I still have problems because of it..." Her explanation received a nod of understanding.

Santana piped up to move them all along. "Remember the time Puck got drunk and danced for all of us in that Borat mankini and the front snapped and things got obscene?"

"We swore to never speak of that again," Puck defended. "But, it's not my fault my manhood can't be contained."

Rachel, wide eyed and greatly interested said, " I don't remember that at all!"

Finn agreed. "I don't either. And trust me. If I had seen that I would still be fighting off the nightmares. When was this?"

"You remember! It was the West Side Story after... after party at Brittany's," Santana said.

Finn and Rachel froze. The shock in her face mirrored his own. Tension filled the space between them and as they looked at each other with shifting eyes and forced smiles. Neither were breathing normally and Finn thought he might puke. Neither was expecting that night to come up. Kurt and Rachel shared a knowing look. Rachel recovered enough to speak. "Oh. Well, we didn't go to that one. So sorry we missed such a beautiful artistic statement. I'm sure it was just lovely," She sipped her drink, receiving a mocking face from Puck and a round of laughs from everyone else. Under the table, Finn felt her squeeze his hand. It was comforting. Reassuring. And it hurt like hell. The table full of friends moved straight on into other topics of conversation, mocking, and general merriment. Finn an Rachel sat there still stunned by the reminder of their past. She was taking another sip of her drink when, unable to wait any longer, he leaned into her ear. "Hey. You wanna go somewhere and talk?"

Struggling for her next draw of oxygen, she contemplated her answer. Was she ready to face all of this again? Should they go down this uncertain of a road? Would it help or just make things miserably worse? But, looking into the most sincere set of eyes she had ever seen, she knew that eventually they were going to have to talk their issues out. Even if only to repair the friendship that both of them so desperately missed.

With a demure nod of her head, she accepted is offer. This time, he returned the squeeze and she could have sworn her hand was ablaze at his touch. He gave her the gentlest of smiles and turned to the group, who were now trying to form a new glist given all of their new experiences. Couldn't have been a better time to get the hell out of there, they thought.

"I hate to leave the party early, mostly because of what might be said about me when I go but..." he said, drawing his words out playfully, his friends laughing because they knew he was right. "I'm beat and I have a busy day tomorrow. So, good night. And go easy on me, OK?"

"Look, Honey Boo Boo, you leave... you take what's coming," Santana teased.

"I think I'll risk it," he said and gave Rachel a long glance before walking away from the table.

The other faces exchanged uncomfortable looks of their own. Rachel watched his back as it rounded the corner. She decided to make it less obvious and stay a little longer than Finn. It wasn't that they were going to be doing anything other than talking, but they instinctively knew that with these people, they'd never get any peace if they left together. They didn't need the added pressure, their situation was stressful enough without the added layer of gossip and expectations. About fifteen minutes passed before Rachel made the jet lag excuse and left as well.

"They're totally gonna do it," Puck announced. "I'll put $50 bucks on it. Any takers?"

No one wanted to take that bet.

When Rachel exited the elevator and came around the corner, her eyes landed on all six feet three inches of him, sitting against the wall outside her room. He didn't want to be presumptuous enough to assume they would talk in his room, he wanted to let her make the decision. Taking in the jacket laid next to him, the tie hanging open around his neck and the unbuttoned collar, she had to remind herself that this was a talk. A talk between friends. A talk between friends who were going to get married, but broke up instead. But, she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she would never look at this man and not feel her whole world flip upside down.

"Hey," she said softly, arriving to stop in front of him.

He looked up with kind eyes. "Hey," he returned in much the same manner. He moved to stand and she offered her hand to help him up. He grinned as he took her small hind in his own. And he didn't let it go. "My room or yours?"

"Does it matter? We share a door," she said with a smile.

So she did notice, he thought.

"Nah, I just thought the lady should get to choose," he said, shooting her a smile that made her heartbeat run wide open.

"OK... your room, I guess." She shrugged.

"Interesting choice," he said , turning around to slide his key card in the slot. He opened the door and held it open for her to pass him as she entered the room.

"Why is that interesting?" she asked, humorously curious.

"Well, I just thought you'd want to use your room. You know? Home field advantage."

She giggled at his train of thought. "Yes, but, if we start throwing things, I'd rather you have to pay for the damages," she quipped and challenged him with a look.

The look he shot back at her was serious at first, but soon melted into laughter. It was banter that could only exist between people who truly knew the heart of the other. At least they still had that. Or was it just that time had erased them of the will to care?

"Wanna soda?" he asked.

"Sure," she replied.

He tossed her a can. "Try not to aim at my face. Ms. Pillsbury won't be too happy with a best man that has an aluminum can shaped bruise in her wedding photos."

"Touche, Finn," she said and pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.

They sat still in an awkward silence. Him on his bed, her in the lounge chair in the corner. The silence grew louder as both sipped their sodas, unsure where to start. Unable to ever take silence for too long, Rachel took charge.

"So fill me in. You're going to Regionals after all?" she asked with hope and a proud smile.

"Yeah. It's awesome. The Warblers were pumping roids and got disqualified. So, we have another shot. I really like doing this, Rachel. I think it's something I'm actually sort of good at."

Her smile could have illuminated the night sky all on its own. "That's amazing, Finn. I am so happy that you are finding your place. You are becoming the leader I always knew you were. The difference is... I think you might actually see it, too... for the first time."

"I think I just might," he smiled back. "What about you? Any new developments?" He sounded like he knew something.

"Well, after winning the showcase, people know who I am now. They respect me more. I'm getting all kinds of offers around campus to star in different productions. I'm still learning, but I'm carving out my name, I guess."

She saw his pursed lips and nodding head. He definitely knew something.

"Kurt told you didn't he?"

"About what?" he feigned ignorance.

"About Brody," she said as gently as she could. Their was a hint of apology in her tone.

"Yep," he said shortly, taking a long drink.

"Finn..."

"Look, Rachel. You don't owe me an explanation. We broke up. We haven't spoken in months, due a lot to the fact that I told you not to contact me. So, I get it. He's what you want. If you're happy, then I'm-"

"I told him to leave, Finn. We aren't seeing each other anymore."

Finn's surprise registered on his face. "Oh. Well, then, I'm sorry... I guess." Another drink was required to keep the grin off of his face.

"Look, this week, I've really done some soul searching and I've been making one mistake after another since we broke up starting with agreeing to this no contact thing. Actually, starting with letting you think that I was crying over-"

A knock at the door interrupted her confession. "Dude, let me in," a whisper came through the door.

"Puck," Finn grumbled under his breath.

"What do you want? I'm trying to sleep, Man." He yelled back, trying to get his friend to go away. Far away. Because it felt like Rachel was about to say something really important.

"We forgot something, Finn. Something important. About the wedding."

"Crap," Finn muttered under his breath.

"Go see what he wants," Rachel told him. "I'll just go to my room and change into my pajamas. We can continue then." She had her hand on their shared door.

"But, I don't-" he said, encircling her wrist with his fingers and stopping her motion. He was afraid to let her go. Afraid they wouldn't get another chance like this.

"Finn," she said in almost a whisper, "I'll come back. We will finish this. I promise." She reached her other hand over and laid it on top of his. He saw her nod her head in reassurance and he let her go.

Speedily throwing his clothes off except his T shirt and boxers to appear fresh from sleep, he stomped over to the door and opened it with irritated force.

"What, asshole? And it better be life or death," Finn growled at the smirking face in front of him.

"I knew it!" Puck exclaimed barging into the room and looking around expectantly.

Finn couldn't help but smirk with victory when he realized what- or rather, who- his buddy was looking for.

"Knew what, Puck?" Finn asked, arms crossed, barely able to contain his laughter.

"Damn. You really did come up here to sleep."

"What did you think I was doing?"

"Berry," he said as if it were the most obvious answer.

Finn's grin grew wider. "Last I saw her she was with you," he shrugged.

"Fine, Dude. What ever. But listen, we gotta do the bachelor party thing for Schue. I say we surprise him tonight!"

Finn deflated. "Man..." he whined. "What are we going to do exactly? Go to a strip club? Get drunk? We're underage and Mr. Schue isn't going to go for any of that. And it's so late..."

"Yeah, the guys and I talked about that and we were thinking poker game. Mike and Sam are headed over there now to get it set up. Now, get your plaid shirt and your cardigan and let's jet," he insisted.

Finn let his head roll backward and his eyes close. He gave an exasperated sigh. He couldn't say no. He was the best damn man for God's sake. But... Rachel. They were actually getting somewhere and...

She would understand. Wouldn't she? Was he putting other stuff ahead of her again? But he couldn't use her as an excuse either.

"Alright, dude. Get out. Let me get dressed and I'll call you in 10." He had relented.

"Sweet!" Puck said and gave one last look around the room. "She's really not in here?"

"Nope."

"Glad nobody took my bet," he said and walked out the door.

Finn tried not to think about what that meant and quickly crossed the room to knock on the door he was sharing with Rachel. She answered it in her plaid pajama pants and black long sleeved T. Her face was scrubbed clean and she had braided her hair to the side. He melted. It was his Rachel. No make up. No boots. Just Rachel. He was dying inside at the thought of leaving her.

"What did Puck want?" she asked, moving past his frozen state of a body and back into his room to sit in her chair.

Defeated, he pulled up the desk chair to sit right in front of her. "The guys are throwing Schue a surprise bachelor party and they want me to go."

"Tonight?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. I really don't want to go. I want more than anything to stay here and finish this with you, but-"

Her face softened into a sincere smile. "You have to go, Finn. You're the best man. You can't not go."

"But, this... getting my friend back... it's more important and..."

She placed her palm against his still moving lips. "Finn. I'll be here for five days. We have time. And it's important to me, too. But, this weekend is about the bride and groom. We will talk later. Now... go. Be the best man, which shouldn't be too hard. I can't think of a more fitting title." She smiled sincerely.

Her smile melted his heart and it took everything in his power not to just grab her an kiss her and make them both forget the last five months.

"Thanks, Rach. I promise this isn't over. I want us to talk this out. It's a priority."

"I know you do. And I know it is. And that means a lot to me. Really. And besides... this has given me a great idea. I think we girls need to pay the bride a visit!" She jumped up and moved to leave.

Finn smiled at her, following closely behind.. "This is nice, huh?"

She turned suddenly to face him. "Yes, Finn. It is." Rachel reached her arms up tentatively and embraced his neck. His arms locked around her waist and he buried his face in her neck. His body rejected the idea of letting her go. But, she pulled back and forced the issue.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, disappearing through the door.

Finn stared at the barrier between them, letting his head rest against it for just a moment.

A loud banging resonated into the room.

"Dude... let's go!" Puck yelled.

"Shut the hell up! I'm coming," Finn yelled back.

Reconciliation would have to wait another day.

**I really hope you liked this one. I kind of can't wait to see Santana and Rachel in NYC. I think it's an interesting dynamic. Please let me know your thoughts! Reading your reviews is one of my very favorite things! And... when I read them I can't wait to write more! Thank you for your wonderful comments already. You make a girl blush! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for your reviews and follows! Always makes a writer feel good to know their message is getting across and making people feel something! Hope you continue to enjoy! Thanks for reading!**

Rachel followed through with her plan to surprise the bride with an impromptu bachelorette party. Confined to the same restraints as the guys, there would be nothing raucous, not that raucous was a state this bride would ever find herself in. Emma was staying in the hotel until the wedding to keep things traditional. She didn't want any bad luck to spoil what would be the most special day of her life. And, she also wanted there to be the added layer of anticipation and something special by staying away from her groom at night time. Her parents had provided the nicest suite under the ruse that it was a gift, but they were really hoping three days to herself would make her call the whole thing off. Emma knew this, of course, but wasn't going to turn down their offer. It was most definitely a surprise when Emma opened the door of her suite to find five smiling young faces.

"Surprise!" they yelled together, and let themselves in as Emma stood there speechless watching them pass her in the door way.

"What is all this?" she asked with excited curiosity.

"It's your bachelorette party!" Rachel answered, clapping her hands happily.

"Girls! You didn't have to do this... how sweet!" Emma replied, moving over to the table where Mercedes and Tina were busy emptying bags of goodies.

"We know. But the boys are surprising Mr. Schue with a poker game and we wanted you to get to have some fun, too. So... we have movies to make us cry, and food that is really bad for us, and everything necessary to cleanse our pores, paint our nails, and make our skin nice and silky," Rachel told her with a giggle.

When Emma burst into tears, it was unexpected to say the least. The girls gathered around her, concerned.

"We are so sorry. We should have been more sensitive. You probably don't like surprises very much, do you?" Tina said,a worried expression on her face.

"Oh! No... it's not that at all. This is simply lovely. These are happy tears," she said, smiling. "It's just that I never had girlfriends growing up either because they didn't have red hair and my parents wouldn't let them in our house, or because I couldn't just hang out without constantly washing my hands. And, when you are a teenager, no one understands your uncontrollable need to have everyone sit around a table in alphabetical order," she finished, rolling her eyes, wiping her tears, and giggling a little. "So, this is just the most thoughtful thing I've ever had friends do for me. Thank you. Thank you all," she said, accepting the group hug that came in response.

The hug dispersed and everyone got busy getting the supplies together.

"I was actually kind of surprised that no one had planned anything like this for you, yet. I know you have cousins and a sister, so I thought we would just be a bonus," Rachel said, not wanting to pry, but kind of disappointed in Emma's family and friends.

"Well, they did. But, it was more of a formal dinner and my mother spent most of it highlighting all of Will's flaws and my cousins are jealous that I'm getting married first, so they just glared at me openly across the table. My sister, who has the perfect little ginger family, was trying to be supportive, but she was too busy talking about her new house in the Hampton's to notice how miserable I was. So, this is absolutely perfect and Will and I love all of you so much. It means the world to me that you thought enough of me to do this."

The girls smiled warmly back at their counselor turned friend and smiled around the room at each other, proud of their team work.

"Well, then, let's party," Santana exclaimed dryly, holding up two bottles of nail polish and a jar of moiturizer.

The girls had all brought their plain white robes from their rooms and they were already in their pajamas so all that was left to do was to get the bride into hers. Emma returned to the large seating area and joined the girls as they popped in Dirty Dancing and began the spa portion of the evening's festivities.

Meanwhile, over at Will's house, a poker game was already well underway. Cigar smoke filled the air and Puck had left no detail unturned. The table was lined with green felt and the chips were already piling up.

"Guys, this is so great of you to do for me. Really. I appreciate it more than you will ever know," Will said, looking around the table, smiling proudly and tearing up a little bit. "I miss all of you being together."

"Dude, seriously?" Puck said with a scoff. "I'm was in Cali for like seven seconds and I'm back now. Blaine, Sam and Artie are still in high school. Yeah, OK, Mike isn't around much anymore. And Kurt is all Team Berry up in NYC. God knows, Finn never left." Puck swiped at the wad of pretzels that Finn hurled at his face.

"Team Berry? I'll have you know I am doing just fine for myself all by myself, Cretin," Kurt said, offended, while neatly organizing his cards by color. He showed Blaine his handiwork and Blaine smiled approvingly.

"And, I went into the Army, Asswipe. I did leave, too, in case you've forgotten. Got a scar on my leg to prove it."

"'Waah, waah. I shot myself in the leg.' Stop whining, Dude. Couldn't have hurt that bad," Puck said with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh yeah?" Finn challenged. "Why don't we go outside, let me shoot you in the leg with a rifle, and see how well you take it."

"Whatever, Man. Bet I wouldn't even flinch," Puck said with a smirk and a wink that let his friend know he was just messing around.

"You're probably right," Finn said with a patronizing nod of his head. "Having your flesh ripped all the way through with a bullet can't be nearly as bad as being locked in a port a potty. What was it Zizes said she heard? 'Buddha, Allah, Satan, help me?'" Puck punched Finn in the arm as Finn laughed at his own impression of what that must have sounded like.

The group of guys laughed heartily at their friends' banter.

"This. This is what I mean. All you guys together. And I've spent so much of my time in DC that I feel like I haven't seen any of you in years."

Artie chimed in, "I'm just sorry we're your only friends, Mr. Schue. Cause we can't do anything cool like get you drunk or buy you a stripper. Although..."

He caught the look on Will's face and back pedaled.

"Not that, you know... not that... well, I'm sure you have... And we're not the only..." Artie stuttered.

"Artie, it's OK," Will said, rescuing him from himself and placing an arm on his shoulder. "I have other friends. Great friends," gesturing to Burt who smiled warmly. "But, you guys are like family. Like a bunch of little brothers that I never had," He gave Finn, in particular, a warm smile. "I wouldn't want this any other way. It's perfect." They all sat looking around the table at the people who had shaped each of them in some way. Unable to take the sweetness and blatant revelation of emotions for too long, there was a clearing of throats and chugging of sodas.

"What are the girls doing tonight? I really want to see all of them, too," Will inquired.

"Well, Rachel has rallied the troops and they are back at the hotel surprising your lovely bride doing a movie/spa night to which I was not invited but much better suited, I might add," Kurt said begrudgingly.

Finn smiled to himself. He knew how quickly she had thrown that together and he marveled at her powers of organizing people. His face fell a bit when the craving to go back to her to finish their conversation took him over.

"Wipe that dumb love sick look off your face, Dude," Puck said, loud enough for everyone to hear him. "No Finchel trances allowed at this table."

Finn looked at him incredulously. "I don't know what you're talking about, man. There has been no Finchel for a long time."

"Right," Puck said mockingly before drawing a card.

Kurt watched his brother silently. He knew Rachel would always love Finn. He knew Finn would always love Rachel. What he couldn't understand was why they couldn't just admit it and find a way to make it work. Finn caught him staring and Kurt smiled sympathetically. "Liar," he mouthed silently. Finn rolled his eyes and went back to his hand. But he knew. Yes. Yes he was a total liar.

It had turned out to be such a fun evening for the ladies. They had told stories about their new lives and laughed together, and eaten way too much. But, Rachel was absolutely ecstatic about it. It was like the longer she was with them, the more she began to feel like herself again. It was such a relief to not have to slip into her The New York character she had created. She was just Rachel here and she had forgotten how much she had come to love "just Rachel" before everything.

"You look like you're doing research to play Elphaba," Tina said, looking over at Rachel. With a giggle as she fanned her toes with a magazine.

Rachel looked at her friend from behind a green face. She widened her eyes with an evilly delicious grin that pulled at the face mask she was currently scrubbing off with a washcloth. "Well, I am feeling a little wicked these days," she said.

"Yeah. We heard," Mercedes said with a snort, eyes widening when she realized she had said it out loud.

Rachel didn't miss the implication and her brow furrowed a little. She noticed that every other set of eyes in the room were meeting every other set of eyes in the room, but all were avoiding her own.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, smiling slightly and continuing to remove her mask. She was not offended, yet, but genuinely curious as to what the girl was trying to say.

"Nothing," Mercedes said quickly, trying to play it off with uneasy laughter. "I was just joking. You know me... Y'all ready for ice cream?" She moved to get up and Rachel caught her arm.

"Oh no you don't, Mercedes. No changing the subject. I want to know what you meant by that." Rachel had grown more serious now.

Mercedes sighed, falling back onto the couch and glancing around searching for anyone who might jump in to save her. Alas, there were no takers. Taking a deep breath, she had no other choice.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to insult you. I love you, OK? It's just that Kurt told us stuff and... it all just seemed so... I don't know... Not you. I made a bad joke that was supposed to stay inside my head and..." she trailed off, again searching the room for help.

Her savior came in the form of the bride to be. "Rachel," she began softly, "I think Mercedes' comment, though tactless," she paused to look at Mercedes pointedly, "was referring to the way you've kind of let loose in the big city, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. You need to explore to find out who you are. That's a perfectly natural and normal thing to do. As long as you stay true to yourself. But, everyone who knew you before you left just carries the expectation that you'll always be the same and you're not. And that's true of any of us as we experience life. So, when we hear the things you are up to, some of them just comes as a surprise, given what we've known in the past. That's all. Your old friends just need to adjust a little."

Mercedes shot Emma a look of pure gratitude. "Yeah, Rachel, and I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I didn't mean you had turned into a witch or something. You've just been more of a bad girl than I remember. You know? Sassier," she said, nudging her friend to let her know she was just playing. "I'm so sorry."

Rachel tried to take in all that she was hearing. She stared at everyone and no one in particular all at the same time. Santana, surprisingly enough, was supporting her with her eyes. She gave her a wink that told her everything was OK. Rachel turned to Mercedes. She caught her off guard when she wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders. "It's fine, Mercedes. I'm not mad, oddly enough. It just feels a little foreign to me to have people around me again who will call me out on what I do. No one in New York, besides Kurt, even knows enough about me to know how lost I've truly been. And even he has only recently started getting real about it." Rachel was contemplative all of a sudden and the vibe in the room had gotten heavy very quickly. No one knew whether to just move past it or try to get Rachel to talk about it. Rachel spoke again, effectively solving their dilemma.

"Look, this party is supposed to be about the bride, but it has become clear that we are going to have to address some rumors before we can move on. So, what did you guys hear?" Sensing that no one wanted to answer her question, she decided to get it all out there for them.

"I know that Santana must have told you that I almost did a nude scene in a movie." She waited expectantly for someone, anyone, to comment.

"Of course I told them," Santana admitted. "You were being an idiot and in this family you can't expect to be an idiot and not expect the rest of us to at least discuss it. But, I also told them you came to your senses and that I was proud you had the balls to say no."

Rachel nodded slowly, acknowledging this as acceptable. Then, taking a deep breath, she continued.

"OK. Next topic. Kurt told you I had a boyfriend, I'm assuming."

"Had?" Tina questioned.

"Yes. Had. Past tense. We broke up just before I came back here," she said matter of factly.

"Wasn't he living with you?" Tina said with a cringe.

"For about a week, yes.

"What happened," Emma asked next.

"I told him to leave. I realized over that week that I was in it for all the wrong reasons and that he was a temporary distraction from a more permanent problem, so I ended it."

"Permanent problem meaning Finn?" Mercedes asked reluctantly, yet sincerely.

Rachel took a deep breath at the mention of his name. Somehow talking about him with these girls made it all so real. These were the people who watched as they fell in love, hurt each other, fell in love again. These were the people who were going to stand next to her at her wedding. They were on the platform the day he said goodbye. She couldn't hide anything from any of them no matter how much she wanted to. She grew uncomfortable under their stares as she tried to formulate a response.

"Finn... is... definitely a part of it. Maybe he always will be. But, that's over and I had to deal with it, right? He told me not to contact him and somehow not talking to him hardened me a little. And I dealt with it by changing everything that reminded me of him. The main problem with my methods was that I was trying to be someone that I'm just not. And Brody only enabled it. I was making larger than life decisions on a whim because it felt good to stop overanalyzing every little thing I did. But, I know now that I have to find a happy medium. And I will." Rachel sounded sure of herself. But, sounding sure and being sure are not the same thing. Brightening, she said, "Anything else or are we through with this inquisition?"

"We are sorry, Rachel," Tina spoke up after a short moment of silence. "We didn't mean to upset you. But none of us has really gotten to talk to you since you left. It's good to hear it straight from you. We love you. I hope you know that."

Rachel smiled because deep down she did know that and it made her feel safer somehow. She had missed them more than she even knew. Finally having all of it out in the open was freeing and she was glad to have it over with.

"Maybe we shouldn't have grilled you, but, now we know how to support you better," Mercedes said from next to her on the couch. "You really should check in more often." Rachel leaned into her friend, thankful to have her.

Brittany, who had been very quiet, chimed in while filing her nails. "You guys did ask her too many questions, seriously. And it's not fair because you didn't do that to Finn when he started seeing Sara."

Suddenly, Rachel felt like she was in a vacuum fighting to breathe around the violent sickness in the pit of her stomach as her world began to spin on its axis. She sat, frozen in place while reeling, open mouthed, watching the reactions around the room through the haze that had formed over her eyes. Santana slapped Brittany lightly in admonition and received a clueless look accompanied by a shrug in return, Mercedes and Tina looked to each other with wide eyes, and Emma closed her eyes and dropped her head before looking back up to check on Rachel. It wasn't long before everyone else recovered and turned their eyes on her to do the same thing. They watched her struggle to form words, her lips trembling. She was taking deep breaths to keep from totally losing it. _Oh shit _had just become the theme of the evening.

"Finn's...he's... um... Finn's seeing someone?" she finally got out with a strained voice that was just above a whisper. "He's seeing someone," she repeated as if trying to understand the words. She began trying to find her way through this new information that threatened to wreck her completely. "When did... why didn't anyone tell me?" Her mind went to Kurt. Surely in all of his phone conversations with his brother, this had come up. Why hadn't he told her? She fought to keep her food down as the sickness raging through her chest became more intense. She looked across to the other suspect. "Santana?"

Rolling her eyes because she knew what was coming, she let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes. I knew. But I didn't tell you because I didn't think it mattered. SuperDouche was living with you for the love of God. And, I was so busy trying to convince you to keep your tatas to yourself it didn't really come up and I didn't mention it earlier tonight because I thought that the drama would kill the fun and what do you know? I was right. Besides, he isn't seeing her anymore. So, just unclench, OK?"

Finn had been seeing someone. Finn had been seeing someone. Finn had been seeing someone. The words played in her head like a broken record. Somehow, in the midst of living her own life and doing as she pleased with whomever she pleased it had never occurred to her that he might be doing the same thing. She had just been looking at it from the perspective that since she did the breaking and she did the moving on that he was the one who lost something and therefore would be slower to get over it. She arose from her seat and the pacing began as well as the rapid succession of thoughts that were attacking her brain.

_Who the hell is Sara? Where did he meet her? How long were they together? What if they're still together? He sure wasn't acting like there was a Sara earlier tonight. Brittany mentioned her like she was familiar with her. He had introduced her to their friends? Did he kiss her? Oh my God, he kissed her. His lips were on her lips. I'm going to throw up. Could he hold her from behind, too? Did she make him smile? Or worse, laugh? Is she blonde? I bet she's blonde. Blondes suck. Was there more than kissing? Slut. No, not slut. I have no right to be upset. I asked Brody to move in. I kissed him. But, I didn't have sex with him. Did Finn sleep with this person? I hate her. But I can't. I don't know her. He is mine. Finn is mine. He will always be mine. But what if he has moved on? He is going to marry her and have babies with her and I will just be the girl he used to date. And, I'll run into him some day and he'll refer to me as Aunt Rachel and I will throw myself in front of a moving bus._

Her inner downward spiral was stopped when she felt hands on her arms shaking her and she stopped to focus on the fierce face in front of her.

"Drop the dramatics, Berry. Do not make me slap you across the face. I'm way to good at it. He's not with her anymore. And why is that? She's not you."

The game was slowly winding down and the boys all decided it was time to pay up and get some rest. Everyone said their goodbyes and dispersed in different directions.

"I have had such an awesome time taking all of your money," Artie said, gloating at his dominance of the poker game. Sure there was a dollar limit on their bets, but, cash was cash.

"Thanks, again, guys. For all of this. I'll remember it forever," Will said, obviously tired.

"No problem, Mr. Schue. It was fun," Finn said, hugging his mentor.

"Hell yeah, it was," Puck interjected on his way out the door. "We should make this a regular engagement. I'd like the chance to redeem myself." Puck was the last to go, leaving Finn and Will on at the door.

"So, rehearsal is at 5:00 tomorrow and then the dinner?" Finn asked, double checking to keep up with all of his duties. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

"Yep," Will replied, cautiously observing the younger man through narrowed eyes.

"That means we have all day to ourselves?" Finn's mind was obviously racing. Will simply nodded his head, assessing Finn's state of mind. He knew where his mind was at the moment.

"Have you talked to her, yet?" Will finally asked boldly.

Finn was momentarily taken aback by the question, but answered right away. "Yeah. A little, I guess. It's been a long time since we've even spoken and I know it's gonna take time and go slowly, but I think we'd both like to at least be friends again. That's a start, right?"

"Sure. That's a start, " Will agreed thoughtfully. "What exactly do you want to happen, Finn? You two have been through a lot and I know she's changed in many ways. You have, too." He let his words sink in before he dropped the next question. "Does she know about Sara?"

Finn swallowed hard and just shook his head no.

"Are you going to tell her?"

Finn sighed heavily. "I don't know, man. I mean, we only went out on like three dates. That's hardly newsworthy. And I backed out of it because I felt like I was lying to her. I didn't want to lead her on, you know? Someone else still has my heart. And, she probably always will. I can't not love Rachel, Mr. Schue. Even when I tried to hate her. And I really, really tried to hate her. How pathetic is that? I mean, she had that ripped dude living with her and I still couldn't turn it off. How is anyone else supposed to try to compete with that?"

Will smiled a sympathetic smile and placed a hand on Finn's shoulder. "I don't think anyone can, Finn. But, if it means anything, I think the feeling goes both ways."

Finn scoffed. "Sure. Because loving someone means shacking up with someone else," he said disgustedly.

"Finn, I want you to look at this with your head. Leave your heart out of it for a second. Rachel only gets this impulsive when she's trying to bury something she feels for you. When did Jesse show up? Just after you broke up with her. When did she decide to forget about New York? Immediately after finding out you might not get to go with her. When did this Brody kid enter the picture? When you stopped talking to her. Every rash thing she does, she does in reaction to you."

Finn mulled this over a bit, trying to remember other circumstances in which this was the case. Will spoke again. "I was at that train station the day you sent her in the direction of her dreams. I saw what it did to both of you. I took her calls when she hadn't heard from you. I heard the worry in her voice and the desperation to hear from you. She loves you, Finn. Regardless of her choices. And it's a love that is rare and it is pure and it doesn't just fade out. I used to look at the two of you like just a couple of kids in love, but that day standing by that train? That was the day I realized it was so more than that. It was stronger. It was forever. There is a magic that happens when you look at each other. A lot has happened since then, and I know you were in a bad place just before you broke up. But, there has never been a better team than you and Rachel. Never give up on that."

"Thanks, Mr. Schue," Finn said through a thickened throat.

Finn left swiftly, knowing that when he got back to the hotel Rachel would be there. Sure, it was too late to do any serious talking, but maybe they could just hang out. Just be in the same room. Catch up. He could hear her voice. He knew he shouldn't push too hard. But,he felt it should also feel more weird than it did. Their rapport was falling back into place more rapidly than he anticipated. The awkwardness had begun to retreat and before he was dragged away from her earlier in the evening, he had felt their connection. He knew he had. And though they could cover it, it was always there... like white noise or air. So, when he started driving, his speed kept increasing and increasing and when he finally got inside the lobby, he tried to reign in his exuberance. He didn't want to appear over eager. Slow was better. He took a few calming breaths and made his way to the door of his room. He glanced over at hers as he was sliding his card in the lock. He wondered if she had made it back yet. He entered his room and took a very quick shower. Hair still wet, he threw on his pajamas and stood at the threshold between his room and hers. Was it weird that he missed her? It had only been a few hours and before that it had been months and months. Missing Rachel had not been at the forefront of his mind for a long time. Of course, she resided prominently in the back of his mind at all times. Finn raised his hand to knock on the door and dropped it back at his side. He looked at the clock next to his bed. 1:14am. Damn, it was late. But she was right there. 1 and 3/8 inches was all that separated him from her. Finally, caution thrown to the wind and courage rising in his chest, he tapped lightly. Three times. He waited. He knocked three more times. No answer.

_Maybe she's still upstairs. That's it, right? Or what if... What if she's changed her mind? What if she had second thoughts, realized she doesn't care anymore and decided to just keep things the way they've been? Maybe I was just kidding myself that it could be that easy. Maybe I've just been kidding myself that we will ever be OK ever again. Oh, God. What if we aren't OK ever again? What if this is our only chance to make things right and we miss it? What if after all of this we come to find out that we weren't meant to be together after all?_

It dawned on him that he was still standing in the door frame staring at a closed door. She wasn't coming. For whatever reason. Just as he gave up and turned to go to bed, the door swung open. He spun back around, his eyes immediately knowing where to go to find her. The smile that formed when he heard the door open fell from his face, however, when he registered the look on her face. It was one he'd seen before: hurt colored with anger. He was always conflicted when he saw it, too. The hurt he saw made him want to pull her close and make it go away. The anger? Made him want to run as far as he could as fast as he could. He brought a hand up to run it through his hair. She was still standing perfectly still staring up at him in silence and her face was intense with emotion. What had brought this on?

"Rach?" he asked carefully as a question, taking a small step and bending down just a little to get a bit closer to her. She took a tiny step backward.

"Sara?" she replied, lifting her chin slightly.

"Shit," he whispered under his breath.

**I know our babies didn't interact much in this one. Next chapter... only Finchel. I promise. And, you will hear both sides. Finn isn't an innocent bystander in all of this (but I love him regardless). I'd love to hear your thoughts... they make my heart smile! 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well... y'all just rock! Thank you for your kind reviews! I REALLY wanted to get this out before "I Do," but you know... the best laid plans... Here's another version, I guess!**

Silence. It filled the air around them like vapor as they stood there locked in a stare down. In the long seconds before anyone spoke, Finn made a critical decision. It wasn't a decision born of revenge, but of knowing exactly how to draw out Rachel's true feelings. He was going to push her buttons a bit just to see what happened. Might as well. What did he have to lose, right?

"What about her?" he asked with a shrug, ending the stand off. He was almost smug as he held her eyes hostage, his narrowed just slightly.

Obviously this wasn't what Rachel was expecting from him because he saw a brief moment of confusion cross her expression accompanied by a nearly undetectable flinch. He turned and walked away from her, leaving her rooted where she stood under the door frame. She couldn't see the smirk on his face that he was working his ass off to lose. He opened his mini fridge to pull out a soda. He held it out to her in an offer he knew she would refuse. She did. She didn't actually move her head, but her face formed an expression that needed no help with interpretation. His smirk briefly made an appearance.

"Well," she began, her indignant tone prominent in her voice. "Were you planning on mentioning her to me?" He eased into the same chair he was in before they were interrupted and watched with disguised amusement as she moved into the room with authority and stopped at the end of the bed. Her eyebrows were raised in expectation of his answer. He popped the top on his can.

Easing into his chair and propping his feet on the stool in front of him, he took a long draw from his drink. "Nah, I thought I'd move her in first. Then, I'd just change my Facebook status. You'd get the picture." He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head, issuing a challenge to her in a way only he could.

She opened her mouth, her retort all ready in her head, and closed it promptly. With a roll of her eyes and an irritated huff, she slumped down to sit on the bed and gave him a rueful grin. "OK. You win."

Finn finally released the laugh he had been holding back. "That's what I thought."

She narrowed her eyes at him before they softened. "I'm so sorry about that, Finn. You deserved better than that. You really did. I was so wrapped up in myself and so misguided in what I thought my New York existence should look like. I owed you more than that," she finished sincerely.

"Thanks," he said, his voice low and quiet while he stared at his can. "Not gonna lie. It hurt." He looked up at her then.

Rachel nodded her head, avoiding his eyes. "I know," was all she could come up with to say. The truth was, she had been so hellbent on immersing herself in a new life devoid of all things Finn Hudson, that when she updated her status, he never crossed her mind. Had she really been that blind? That thoughtless? She finally forced her eyes to meet his. And forgiveness is what she found within them. He smiled a small smile. Her heart warmed.

"So. Now will you tell me about Sara?" she asked, questions and fear about their answers burning through her stomach.

"Look, Rach," he started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His head hung low, causing him to look up with just his eyes. "We will get to that. But, I think we should start at the beginning here. And at the beginning was me. Hurting you." He watched as the tears made her eyes shine and then he saw her resolve to rid herself of them. It occurred to him that he used to be her safe place to cry and now...

"You know, Finn," she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, letting it push her lips forward before biting the bottom one back. She reached behind her, bringing one of the white pillows around to hold in front of her as she spoke. She needed something to hold on to. She needed Finn to hold on to. But, that being an impossibility, she settled for his pillow. "I already told you that I came to terms with what you did at that train station. It took awhile, but I was able to see past my pain to why you did it. And I know in my heart that putting me on that train came out of the deepest, most selfless, unconditional love. So, when I accepted that, I did what you sent me there to do. I concentrated on school. On honing my craft. But, I was miserable. I missed you so much and I was so worried about you. Not only physically, but also your heart. I knew you were in a bad place and I wanted so badly to comfort you. But you didn't call. You didn't text. You wouldn't return any of my attempts at getting in touch with you. So, I started to let myself believe that you were never going to. And I was so alone. School was a nightmare. I had a teacher who was out for my blood and she made me question my worth every second I was subjected to her. I was actually ready to give up completely when Kurt got there and then it got a little better. But I wasn't complete. Not without you. Gradually, it got a little easier. And Brody was there. He was nice to me and he encouraged me and he kept telling me it was time to move on and you had offered no indication that it wasn't. But, when I thought about actually letting you go. Letting go every fantasy I had of you showing up at my door and telling me you loved me and you missed me and wanted to be there with me. And I knew that the only way to do that was to play a part. Some other version of me that had the ability to keep her heart out of things and never get hurt again. And then, after I had finally started to accept it all, after I finally surrendered," she paused on the word and their eye contact registered the meaning, "you showed up at my door just like in the fantasy, except some twisted version of it. Once the shock wore off and the awkwardness of … him... being there, it was a feeling of total elation. It was like the four months before I saw your face didn't even exist. He didn't exist. It was like none of it was real until you were with me. And even in the awkward silence of laying next to you that first night, I felt peace. Because I was laying next to you. I could feel you. I could hear you breathe. And I knew. I just knew. Everything was going to be OK."

"Until it wasn't," he interjected sadly. His eyes hadn't left hers since she started speaking. He was hanging on her every word as if his life depended on it. And in many ways, he was starting to think it might. This conversation was going to hurt like hell, it already was, but it would be worth it if they came out of it better than they went in.

"Until it wasn't," she repeated with a look of sadness on her face that broke one of the surviving slivers of his heart. "I could feel it, Finn. I could feel you. I could feel your apprehension and your reluctance and your despair. I can always feel you. Even when you're not with me." She shrugged shyly and her eyes were downcast."

"Me, too," he murmured, reaching forward just enough for his fingertips to brush her hand.

She met his gaze and smiled sweetly. Shaking her brain out of the Finn cloud that was was forming around her she continued. "I thought it would get better for you once you got used to it. Like it did for me. Or at least, if it didn't, we would be able to sit down together and come up with a plan."

She watched as her last sentence sunk in. His eyes closed briefly and he took a deep breath. Realizing that she would still be his if he had just had the balls to talk it all out.

"But, you bailed. You didn't even give me a chance. I got no opinion. Just like I didn't get to decide whether to marry you or not. And I didn't get to decide whether to stay here or go to New York. You were doing all of the deciding. When I woke up and you were gone... and lying there, staring at the pillow I had been saving for you all that time, something in me broke. You broke me." And that's when the tears she was fighting won the battle and took her over. Her silent sobs shook her body and she wiped at her tears furiously, trying to keep them at bay, but it was like trying to bail out a sinking ship. There were just too many tears.

Finn didn't move. He was perfectly still as he watched her lose control. His chest was so tight he couldn't breathe as he watched her heart break all over again with the full knowledge that he had been the one to put those tears in her eyes. Hurting her always hurt him deeply and this was taking that synergy to a whole new level. His own eyes watered but he refused to break. She needed his strength and he resolved to see this thing through. He had known for awhile that if they never let it all out, they would never move past it. It was like putting a puzzle together. You had to lay all of the pieces out so you could see hoe to put the whole thing back together. He looked away for just a second, needing a break, but he went right back to looking at her. Through her.

"Why?" she asked in a small voice when she finally got her crying under control.

His eyes closed and she saw him swallow hard. His tongue appeared briefly to wet his lips and his lungs filled with air. She watched him search his brain for the words he needed to answer her simple question.

"You had seen me fail as a boyfriend. You saw me fail as a football player. You saw me fail as a college applicant and at the same time, an actor," he stood then, needing an outlet for his anxiety, and began pacing slowly in the small space around the bed as he spoke. Rachel's eyes followed him wherever he went, never wavering. "You had just found out that I failed as a soldier. And you were actively watching me fail as a New Yorker." He stole a glance at her eyes and could see her "Finn defenses" rising and he kept talking before she could argue. "I laid there that night watching you sleep and do you know what I saw? I saw you singing Don't Rain on My Parade and I saw a fierce little girl who once told me her dreams were bigger than me and I saw the woman who told me she was going to New York and never coming back. I saw you on that stage captivating your audience as Maria. I saw you crying in my arms when you felt your dreams crumbling after your choked audition. And then I thought about you and... him. He sang with you without reservation. He wanted all the same things you did and worse, he knew that he wanted them. And I wanted to kick my own ass. I wanted to kick my own ass because I was the idiot that put it all in motion. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take back sending you toward your dreams. In hindsight, I may have chosen a different strategy," he grinned at her sheepishly and drew out his words, "But in the still of that night, it just hit me, you know? I was right all along. I could never keep up with you. I just wasn't good enough. You needed a man. A man with goals and confidence and I couldn't stomach having you see me fail at that, too."

"Finn-"

"Wait. Let me finish," he said gently, his voice firm but choked. In his pacing, he had made it to back to her side of the room. He walked closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know that it was a crappy way to handle it. The coward's way out. And I am so, so sorry," his voice faded into a whisper. "You were so supportive and so loving and you made me start to feel safe. Too safe. But, I knew that it wasn't fair to you because it was a false sense of security. You say I broke you? Well, I also broke myself. I couldn't let you waste your time, time trying to fix me." He shook his head and turned his back to her, walking away again.

Rachel scrambled up behind him to stand on the bed and followed a few of his steps. Reaching out, she turned him around by the shoulder to face her. He could see the fire of anger smoldering in her dark eyes. "But, don't you get it? It was MY time to waste. And it wouldn't have been a waste of time, Finn. And it wouldn't have been 'fixing you.' This is exactly what I'm talking about. You just decide what's best for me and give me absolutely no choice in any of it. I wasn't just your fiance or your girlfriend or you lover, Finn. We were best friends. A real team. No matter what else we were, there was always that. I was so mad at you that you didn't think any more of me than that. That you didn't trust me enough to not care what you said or did or felt but to support you anyway. I still am!"

"I didn't want you to have to 'support me anyway'!" his voice rose and he spoke with air quotes. He walked past her to the other side of the room. She turned her body to watch him. His arms were helping him communicate, raising above his head, drooping to let his hands grab a handful of his hair. "I wanted to be your man, Rachel, not your project. I wanted to be strong and confident and someone you could be proud of. Not someone you had to make excuses for to all of your new talented friends. Someone that could hold his own next to you. Someone who could be strong when you couldn't. Someone, I guess, like the someone you found while I was licking my wounds like a damned puppy." He punctuated his last line with a jab of his hand.

Rachel stood staring at the ground shaking her head. She stepped down from her perch on the bed. She took a few tentative steps in his direction. When she spoke, she spoke softly, cutting the tension that had been stirred up by his rant. "Finn, we really need to talk about Brody."

His emotions were running on high and his frustration level was ever higher. He released a humorless snicker, biting ht inside of his jaw and issuing a challenge with his eyes. "All right, so talk about him," he said, with an agitated shrug.

"All right," she started out slowly, knowing this part of the conversation could escalate into something ugly. "First of all, I didn't 'find' Brody. He found me. Literally. He found me sitting on a bench in the park staring at pictures of you and willing my phone to ring. Desperately hoping against hope that that day would be the day you finally made contact. And you didn't. And I needed a friend. I needed at least one person I could actually talk to in all of New York City. We became friends. He was my only friend for quite awhile. And _he_ chased after _me_. And it felt good to be on the receiving end of that for a change." She didn't mean for it to come out as pointed as it sounded. And when she saw his head snap toward her, she knew it must have.

"I've chased you, Rachel," Finn said defensively, "I've watched you run, not walk, _run_ from me. And I didn't give up, so don't act like you did all the chasing." He wasn't going to let her martyr herself. Sure, he screwed up a lot the months they were apart after they broke up the second time. But, once he came to his senses, he pulled out all the stops to chase her.

"Fine. But hiding in Georgia for four months and then leaving my bed in the middle of the night after one argument to travel 600 miles away is a little different than taking a separate cab back to the same hotel only to kiss you two days later in front of a packed house." Her arms crossed in front of her and she dared him to challenge her. He didn't. "As I was saying, he chased and I let him. And somewhere along the way I found that I was making all the decisions. Whether to say yes or no. Let him kiss me or not. See, with you there has never been a choice. It was always yes because it was you and kissing you? Was like breathing. And I wasn't getting any air. So, I though, why the hell not? This guy is actually here. Let's see what it's like to play the part of a girl who doesn't care too much for once, or at all for that matter."

She watched him nod slowly, processing her words. "I can get some of that. But, you certainly looked like someone who cared the night of the musical." He raised his eyebrow waiting for her answer to this one. And she didn't miss the hurt flash across his features. This was the issue that had caused him to cut her out completely while simultaneously causing her to pretend it didn't matter.

She smiled ruefully and shook her head. "Yes, I suppose to you I did. And, you're exactly right. I _was_ someone who cared that night. Someone who cared that she was watching a performance of the first song she ever sang with _you_. Someone who could picture you and me on that stage so vividly that I could actually feel your hands on my hips. Someone who cared that even though she wanted to appear tough and untouchable and unaffected, was dying inside still missing you. And those four cries you thought you knew so well? You were dead on that they exist. But you were wrong about the one you were seeing that night. Because the one you were seeing was the cry that was born when you were gone. And that was the cry of a girl who was desperately trying to move on but either because she was missing you so badly she physically hurt or because the facade she had created in New York was just that, a facade, she just couldn't. So, you weren't wrong. I was crying over a guy. Two, actually. Because, on the phone that night, I realized I wasn't the only one being chased and that I wasn't in control at all. I had just been introduced to the fact that I was just lying to myself. And that came after seeing you and hearing that song and knowing in my heart that it didn't matter what I did or who I was with... you would always be the one I wanted more than anything." She was full on crying now. Her face reminded him of her face the night she broke up with him on that stage. He wanted to grab her and wrap his arms around her and hold her forever. But they needed to finish this. No stone left unturned. It was just too important.

"Rachel, why didn't you just tell me?" he implored gently, taking an involuntary step toward her.

Her eyes widened as if the answer should be obvious to him. "Because, Finn. I couldn't let you know that I was anything but OK. I had to stay in control. And, it pissed me off that you just assumed you knew everything about me. And it pissed me off more that you actually did."

"And all that stuff about not feeling special and me not being your home anymore?" he asked. That had been a low blow on her part and it had gutted him way more than he would have ever let her know at the time.

"Total Bullshit," she said so matter of factly that he couldn't contain the laughter that followed. She fell into it with him and something shifted in the room. Honesty was once their promise to each other. No lies or secrets. And for the first time in months, that was what they were giving. The truth.

"Finn-"

She took a step closer to him.

"You called me your moose just to see me smile. In that moment, I could've caught the moon if I had tried."

He smiled at her. A real smile. And she returned it. The ice was melting and they could almost see the sun through the storm. Feeling herself drawn into just sweeping the leftover mess under the proverbial rug and just enjoying him, she steered them back toward the matter at hand.

"It scared me, Finn. How easy it was to be loved by you. And how good it felt to be looked at so adoringly. All of that still didn't change anything, though. And I knew it. So, I did the only thing I knew to do anymore and that was to put the defenses back up. Because my first inclination was to cross the distance between us and never look back. It still terrifies me how easily my heart can make me want to give up everything I've ever dreamed of and stay where ever you are," her thoughts began to wander and she forced herself back to the present. "And then you told me not to contact you."

Finn's head fell backward and his eyes fell shut. "I was just hurt, Rach" he said, looking back at her. "It hurt me so bad to see you be so unphased by any of it. It made me see that I had to move on because you certainly had. And, I sure as hell wasn't going to be able to move on if you were still around. Turns out, it didn't work anyway. None of my rules mattered at all," he said with a teasing grin.

She smiled a tiny apologetic smile in return. "I couldn't help it. I was in the midst of the most triumphant moment of my entire life and just like always, the only person I wanted to share it with was you. You made it all possible, Finn. And I wanted you to be tied to that moment forever in my mind." She looked him right in his eyes and the connection that they had always had tugged them both a step closer to each other.

Breaking their gaze, Finn cleared his throat. "That's sweet, Rach, but how did you get from 'just wanting to hear my voice' to 'shacked up'?" He winced when the words fell from his lips and her eyes fell from his.

"I don't know. I was acting on impulse for the first time in my life. I asked him without thinking about it at all. I didn't even talk to Kurt first. Which, some day, I will have to replay that conversation for you because it was a doozy!" They both chuckled a little, thankful for the break in the tension.

"And what changed?" he asked, keeping them on track.

"I woke up," she shrugged. "It's like I opened my eyes to what I was doing for the very first time and saw what I was doing. The fog cleared and I realized that I didn't even like him all that much, but I had been in character so long I was able to make myself believe it was all roses and rainbows."

A question that had been gnawing at Finn for weeks reared it's ugly head and he was debating on whether he should ask it because the answer had the potential to kill him. But, he also understood that if he didn't ask, it would always hang over them and he was determined that this be the night that the air was cleared completely and they would start fresh. So he summoned all the strength he could and just blurted it out.

"So, I know the answer is glaringly obvious, but I have to ask because if I don't it will eat away at any chance I have of being OK and I really need-"

"I didn't have sex with him, Finn." She said smoothly, stopping him in his tracks and causing him to nearly collapse with relief, and quite frankly, shock.

"You didn't-" he cleared his throat, "I mean, you- um- you didn't?"

"No. I didn't."

"But he was _living_ with you. And, forgive me, but he didn't seem like a take it slow and cuddle kind of guy."

"Well... considering he was getting _that_ from other sources, he didn't really need it from me," she said , turning to return to her seat on the bed. To say Finn's face registered confusion was an understatement.

"Wait. He was sleeping with other people? While living with you? And you were fine with that?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. Because in my heart I didn't care enough about him to let it bother me. He was a distraction, Finn. From the real issue which was wanting you. So, I played house and, yes, we made out," she gave a silent apology when he started to look sick, "but I just couldn't share... that ...with him."

Finn watched her as she looked away from him and lowered her head. She was playing with her hair, a sign that she was uncomfortable. And it suddenly dawned on him just why that was. He took the half a step necessary to sit beside her on the bed. "Rachel, look at me."

She didn't move. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," he whispered, "look at me." He was pleading. She obliged. When their eyes met, a softness fell over them. She knew what he was going to ask before he asked it.

"Why couldn't you sleep with him?" he asked with emphasis on every word, clenching her soul with the vulnerability in his eyes. She stared for a long moment wanting to answer...not wanting to answer. Finally, she couldn't deny him any longer. She promised she would always be honest with him and she hadn't been for months.

She turned her head and slowly brought her eyes up to look into his.

"He wasn't you, Finn," she said with the subtle shake of her head.

She felt defeated and relieved all at the same time. She was laying her heart bare to him for the first time since they parted and it felt foreign to her given the lengths she had gone to to protect it.

He would've tried to stop the wide goofy smile that took over his face, but the truth was, he really didn't want to. He was finally getting affirmation of what he should have known all along. She was his. She never stopped being his. It took him a moment to realize he was alone in his euphoria. Rachel sat there with tension in her shoulders and apprehension on her face.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" he asked.

"What about you? You know my story and all my secrets now. We started at the beginning and now we are here. The present. And in the present, I just found out that you've been seeing somebody?" She asked her question calmly, trying to convey more interest than jealousy especially after the story she had just gotten through telling.

Finn looked into her eyes, looked away for a split second and right back. He was grinning a little. "I guess it's only fair, huh?" Rachel nodded slowly.

Finn stood again, their closeness starting to intoxicate him a bit and it would be hard to present this information while sitting so near her. She was riveted as she waited for him to begin, both sick and curious all at once.

"About a month ago, I had gone out to dinner with Puck to this new restaurant over on Jackson. It was really good and they made this little dessert thing shaped like a -"

"Finn? Focus," Rachel guided.

"Right. So, It was kind of late and it was storming outside. We had parked down the street and Puck lost rock, paper, scissors so he had to go get the car. So while I was waiting for him, there was a girl standing outside the door on her cell phone. I thought I recognized her as someone we went to school with, but couldn't place her. She was crying to her Dad and saying something about her car not starting and then I heard her get upset because it would be an hour before he could come get her and I felt, like, really bad for her so I offered to take a look at her car for her..."

"Of course you did," Rachel said with a tiny adoring smile and a little shake of her head.

Finn felt his heart surge a bit, not having seen that look on her face for him in so very long. He returned her smile with a humble shrug. "It was the right thing to do."

"I know. And that's just so... you."

"Chivalrous, right?"

She simply nodded. "Continue," she encouraged with the wave of her hand.

"Anyway, when Puck got there with the car and, well, the umbrella, we drove over to her car and it was just that the alternator belt had slipped and I told her I could do a quick fix but that she would need to bring it in for a new one soon. She thanked me and told me her name was Sara. I told her my name and she said she already knew and she turned all pink about it. Then she got in her car and left. I honestly didn't think I'd ever see her again."

"But, you did..."

Finn made his way back to his chair in the corner. "Yeah. I mean, she brought her car in to Burt's shop the next day. I said something about it being a coincidence, but she said she knew where to find me, which at first I thought was kind of creepy, but then she explained how she knew me. She was in my history class last year and apparently had some kind of crush on me or something," he didn't miss the flare of Rachel's nostrils, "she told me she once paid money to kiss me and then we had a laugh over that." He chuckled. Rachel did not. "Sara offered to take me to dinner for helping her out the night before," he said with another shrug. "So I took her up on it. Free food with a new friend. And everyone has been telling me to stop moping around and just get over it. I thought I'd give it a shot."

Rachel was working hard to dial down the jealous, knowing she had absolutely no right to it. But, still, the thought that this was a hometown girl. One who had never hurt him. One who was sweet, had already crushed on him.. kissed him. This was no Brody. This was a viable option.

"I assume it went well," Rachel said, shooting for nonchalance and failing miserably. "Brittany seemed pretty familiar with her." She kept her face even as she picked at the string she had pulled off the comforter while he was talking.

Finn couldn't help but grin. He knew this girl too well to believe she was taking this all in stride. And it made him glad that it bothered her. He had spent months thinking that she couldn't care less about him and he had evidence to prove it. But, now? Standing here watching her react? She cared. She cared a whole hell of a lot.

"That's because Brittany had classes with her, too. Apparently, Sara was the one who got Brit to understand that the periodic table wasn't a word jumble." Laughter just could not be helped.

"And, yes. It was fun. I hadn't ever just been on a date with a girl I didn't already know before. With Quinn, I had known her since jr. high and with you... well, we kind of skipped dating and went right to soul mates." Finn winked at her. He winked. at. her. Rachel's breath caught in her throat and she just kept nodding her head to keep from squealing. And she knew he noticed.

He was still grinning when he continued. "But, it was easy conversation. I didn't feel like I wanted to disappear for the first time in a long time. She was pretty and sweet and smart and funny..."

"Blonde?" Rachel blurted and then her eyes widened and she pulled both lips over her teeth.

"No," he said with a smile and a shake of his head.

"Good," she shrugged and waved her hand at him again.

"I liked her, I'm not gonna lie. I dropped her off and asked if I could call her. So, a few days later, I did." He stopped there to give her time to process.

"So... you're still seeing her then?" Rachel felt so sick her head started to spin. But she was determined to keep it together. If he was seeing her then he had every right to and she wasn't going to try to make him feel guilty for trying to find happiness. But, the fear of it becoming permanent made bile rise in her throat.

He leaned forward onto his knees. "No, Rach. I'm not."

The breath she had been holding came out in a heavy sigh and the smile that took over her whole face was a nervous one, but an elated one all the same. "OK. I'm sorry. I just-"

"I know," he said, his eyes gentle.

"What happened, Finn? I mean... she sounds lovely." It was much easier for Rachel to ask the question knowing the outcome of the whole story. But, she really wanted to know what could have derailed whatever progress he had made with this girl.

"Well, on our third date, I kissed her."

The bile was back.

"And it just felt... wrong, somehow. Like I was cheating on you, which I know is crazy because we are broken up and you were living with a dude... but still... to me... and she remembered you and we had talked about you a little on the first date. I just explained to her that I gave my heart away awhile ago and until it came back to me I just didn't have it to give. And that was that."

The silence consumed them. Neither knowing what to say or what to do to relieve the tension of not knowing what to do or say. He looked at her, she looked down. She looked at him, he looked to the side. Finally, Rachel couldn't take it anymore. She put the pillow down neatly beside her and stood. His eyes followed her movement and met her own. She took small but deliberate steps toward him and when she got there, she slowly sat down on his lap. His eyes were fixed on hers as she brought her hand up to stroke his cheek and run her fingers through the hair over his ear. His eyes fell shut and he leaned his head into her touch. Her hand came to rest on the back of his neck. Timidly, she laid her head over on his shoulder and buried her face against the side of it, tightening the hold she had around him. He sat extremely still as she maneuvered herself and when her hold tightened, his arms wrapped all the way around her, clutching her to his body, drinking in the feel of her like water in the desert. Neither of them spoke a word or made a sound and the room was so quiet it could have been uninhabited. But, the sheer volume of words spoken by them tonight was overwhelming and the only thing left to say was nothing. So that's what they said. Nothing. For a long time.

Finally, breaking the peaceful silence, she spoke in a whisper. "Finn?"

"Yeah?" he murmured against her head as he stroked his hand over her hair.

"I'm so tired," she said, a hint of a whine in her voice. She heard the low pitch of his chuckle and felt his chest shake beneath her. She pulled back to look at his face. She chuckled with him and let her forehead fall back against his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said through her laughter.

She raised her head to look at him again. Finn ventured a kiss to her forehead, mostly out of habit. "It's fine, Babe. I'm beat, too. We got a lot said that needed to be said and it's probably wise to just stop and think before we say anything else. Besides, we've got a few more days right?" She nodded in agreement. "I know they will be busy, but we'll make time to... um... sit down and make a plan?" he ducked his head a little into her face and asked it as a question, repeating her words from earlier back to her.

"That sounds great," she beamed.

She stood, allowing him to stand as well. They both stretched a little, having been in the same position for quite some time. There were insecure giggles and glances exchanged before she finally stood up on the tips of her toes and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Good night, Finn," she whispered against his skin. "See you tomorrow." She smiled sweetly and turned to go back to her room.

His hand caught her wrist, keeping her in place.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked with mischief in his voice.

"Um... to my room?" she answered innocently.

He began shaking his head no as he pulled her back to him. "No. No you're not."

"I'm not?" she asked, catching on and playing along.

"No. You are going to crawl in this bed with me and you are going to lay as close to me as you can and we are going to sleep. We are going to just forget everything and sleep. Then, tomorrow, we can talk some more. OK?"

She eyed him suspiciously.

"OK?" he asked again, pulling her arm from side to side.

"OK." she agreed with a nod of her head.

They both worked to turn the bed down and crawled in from their respective sides. He turned off his light and she turned off hers and keeping to their agreement, he pulled her as close as humanly possible and she laid her head to his heart. Her free hand was tucked behind his head, her fingers playing with the hair beneath them. His arms were locked around her tight and his cheek lay against her hair. Once settled, it didn't take long for them to give into their exhaustion. But, for the first time in a long time they fell asleep with the one thing they had both desperately been missing: hope.

**Well, folks. That was a looooooooot of talking. But I think it needed to be said, don't you? I hope you liked this chapter and my interpretation of their thoughts along the way. The next chapter will be less heavy! I love reading your thoughts and comments, so if the spirit leads you, leave me one!**


	5. Chapter 5

**OK... when I read your precious reviews, I want to write... and then life steps in and tells me no! I am sorry it is taking so long to update! And, after Thursday night, I have been trying to get over Batman Finn and his Future Wife! But, then I decided that's never gonna happen! So, enjoy... I hope!**

He woke with the sunlight and instinctively reached for her. But, where his hand had been expecting warm, soft her, it found a slip of paper instead.

_Good Morning, Sleepyhead! You were sleeping so soundly that I didn't want to wake you. I had to meet my dads for brunch, but I'd love to spend some time with you before the rehearsal. Text me when you join the land of the living! XO Rachel_

He lay flat on his back, one arm tucked under his head, holding her message above his face and he read it a few times. Just her hand writing made his heart beat faster. He smiled softly to himself thinking about the previous night. She had been so jealous after hearing that he had seen someone while she was gone and he couldn't help but chuckle as he remembered the look on her face. But, he was glad she found out because it had shoved them into a conversation that they had needed desperately. His mind drifted to how it had felt when she had curled up in his lap to hold onto him. It was like finding shelter in the fiercest storm. It was calming... safe. The smell of her hair and her neck and her... just her had intoxicated him and he had lost himself within it. There was no feeling in the world that could compare to having her in his arms all night long. He had awakened a couple of times throughout the night just to make sure she was still there. Each time he had kissed her temple and drawn her closer to his chest, unwilling to allow any space between them. She breathed deeply and evenly and with every rise and fall of her chest, he fell further and further under her spell. Not that she needed a spell.

Finally able to pry himself from the bed, he sat up and grabbed his phone to glance at the time. 11:27? He couldn't remember the last time he had slept so late. Of course, he couldn't recall the last time he had stayed up until almost sunrise, either. He dragged a hand over his face and shook himself awake. Should he go ahead and text her now? Or wait until later? He sat motionless, staring at his phone for awhile, debating this question back and forth in his mind. Finally, his desperation for her won out and he started typing.

_I could have sworn there was a tiny brunette beauty in my bed when I went to sleep last night... was I dreaming?_

He grinned at his own cleverness and took his phone into the bathroom to start his shower. As soon as the water began to pour from overhead, he heard his text alert.

_Well, if you were, then that means that snuggling up next to 6' 3" of gorgeous was a dream, too. And I was really hoping it was real._ ;)

Finn leaned against the bathroom counter and smiled a smile that threatened to split his face in two. He was taken aback by the new way she flirted with him. It wasn't shy and coy the way it used to be. It was a lot more confident. And sexy as hell.

_It was all real, Babe. I promise._

OK. So he was a little girl. So what?

Her reply came quickly.

_That's a relief! Wanna meet me somewhere? Tonight is going to be so busy and I want some more alone time with you._

It warmed his heart that she was asking him for time alone for them. _She_ wanted to see _him._ It boosted his confidence in a way even he didn't understand. And, he would admit to being sort of turned on by it.

_Totally. I'm getting in the shower now, so give me like 45 minutes?_

_That's perfect! Gives me enough time to get this image of you in the shower out of my head. _:) _Where do you want to meet?_

His eyes grew wider at her boldness. And other things grew a little as well. He didn't know where this was coming from but he hoped she had an endless supply of it because it was all kinds of awesome.

_Lima Bean? And... want me to text you a picture?_

Two could play at this game.

_Since when do you drink coffee? And... no need to send pics. I remember every detail just fine._

His phone nearly slipped from his hand and he had to take a deep breath.

_Since taking two months to acquire a taste for it. And, just so you know? I remember plenty of details of my own. _;)_ See you in a bit!_

The Lima Bean was less crowded than usual and he smiled when he saw her come through the front door. He had already acquired them a love seat in the back and he stood to motion her over. She smiled a smile he hadn't seen on her face in what seemed like forever. It was a smile that wasn't overshadowed by some dark cloud. It was carefree and hopeful. When she reached him, she went onto tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close to her. She kissed his cheek on her way back to her feet and he reached over to hand her the drink he had already ordered for her.

"Vanilla soy latte, right?" he asked.

She smiled up at him in appreciation and adoration. "Yes! Thank you, Finn," she said. "And thank you for remembering," she finished softly. She took the cup from his hand and let her fingers brush over his in the process. There were the tingles. Their eyes remained fused.

"I'm good at remembering when it comes to you," he replied with a wink that nearly sent her to the floor. She thought about their texts from earlier and wondered if he was alluding to them. She had to loosen her scarf at the thought. He took a seat on the love seat and pat the spot next to him for her to sit down. She obliged and sat down beside him, feet curled underneath her.

"How are your dads?" he asked without hesitation. It was just natural conversation between two people who knew each other inside and out.

She was in the middle of a sip when he asked. "They're good. Really good. They are currently working on designs for the "Girlhood Home of Broadway Star Rachel Berry" billboard they want to erect next to the Lima city limits sign in the event that ever happens," she laughed out loud as did he and she rolled her eyes at the preposterousness of it all. "They asked about you," she said as their laughter quieted down.

Finn couldn't hide his surprise. Sure, he knew that the Mr.'s Berry liked him well enough. They had told him as much. And he knew that they held him in even higher regard when he sacrificed his heart for Rachel's dreams. But, that they would actually think to bring him up was unexpected.

"Really? What about me exactly?" He took a sip from his cup and tried to look the least amount of incredulous as possible.

She tilted her head and shook it subtly with a warm smile. "Finn, my dads love you. That was never an issue." He gave her a look that may have been skeptical. "They were just wondering how you were. They said they had thought they'd see you around town some, but they never did. Daddy even said he took his tires to be rotated the other day and asked to see you but you weren't there." She studied his expression for a bit. It was unbelieving. "What's that face?"

He looked over at her and tried to come up with an answer to her question. "I don't know, Rach. I mean, I just thought that after everything...they would have dismissed me by now. When I went to talk to them the night before our wed-" he caught her wince and without thinking, reached down to take her hand in his, weaving his fingers between hers and bringing her hand to his lips. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered back. "What's done is done. Keep talking," she said, giving his hand a squeeze, but not letting go.

He stared at her a moment and nodded before he went on. She nodded back in reassurance.

"The last time I saw them," he corrected, "I don't know. I just got the feeling they were glad to be rid of me and the problem of us. They seemed so relieved and almost... giddy." He gave a resigned shrug and frowned at the cup in his hand.

She shifted closer to him. "Finn, they probably were happy that we weren't going through with getting married, but they've never ever been against me being with you. They loved that I had someone who took care of me like you did. Who loved me... as much... if not more than they did." Her sentence ended quietly. She chanced a glance at his eyes. She saw nothing but love behind the mist in his brown eyes.

"They got that right," he said, his voice rougher than usual, but with a small smile. She returned it.

"Yes they did," she said with confidence as the two sat staring into the other's eyes with adoration and something that rivaled awe. Finn was thinking about leaning in and just kissing her right there. But he didn't want their first kiss after so long to be in a public place. Because, the kiss he was planning on laying on her when they did make their way back to that was not appropriate for general audiences.

She must have sensed his thoughts because she quickly changed the subject. "They were certainly glad to hear that I'd dropped the quote 'smarmy letch that was living in my abode,'" she said with a rueful laugh.

"Weren't we all," he quipped with a dramatic roll of his eyes, earning a playful shove.

"So... what did you tell your dads? About me, I mean?" He took another drink.

She smiled coyly. "I told them I spent the night in your arms and woke up happier than I've been in months."

Coffee spewed from his lips and he let go of her hand and worked furiously to wipe it up as she giggled. "You said what?" he screeched.

Through her giggles, she managed, "Relax, Finn. I'm kidding. But, we are adults now and are allowed to do as we please." Her look said more than her words did and he stopped mid swipe with his napkin to process it. She placed her hand on his arm. "I told them that I was having enjoying spending time with you while I was home and that it was going to be very hard for me to leave you again."

"Really? You said that?" he asked in a soft voice, his eyes full of love.

She simply nodded while her eyes returned the love.

"Thanks. I'm enjoying you, too." And I don't even want to think about you leaving again, he thought to himself. Just then, he remembered something he needed to do.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked.

Her face reflected the abrupt change in the air. "Um... sure? Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he said with a wicked grin, grabbing her hand and pulling her up with him.

They walked into very familiar territory a short while later and Rachel was having a hard time controlling the uneasiness in her stomach. For a building so full of wonderful memories for the two of them, the last two times they had been in here together had been unpleasant to say the least.

"Finn? Why are we in Mr. Schue's office?" she asked as she looked around curiously.

"Well... It's only kind of Mr. Schue's office," he tapped the name plate on the desk. FINN HUDSON.

"Wow," she said, a taken by surprise just a little. "Aren't you fancy?" She threw him a playful look and received a five year old's version of flipping her off. He stuck out his tongue. This earned a giggle from her that touched his heart and stirred the longing for her that was always on the surface.

She started to look around curiously and noticed that the room was distinctly "Finn." He even had framed pictures up of his friends. She couldn't contain her disappointment at seeing that she wasn't one of them. Without turning around she said, "Won't we get in trouble for being here while school is out?"

"Nah. I have a key, remember? I kind of work here. And besides, school's out for teacher's meetings today and there's no one here to know."

"You work here. That's so..."

"Lame?" he offered with no malice, just resignation.

"No," she almost shouted and turned around to face him. She softened her tone. "Not at all, Finn. I was going to say surreal."

"Well, surreal or not, it's over now, I guess. Mr. Schue is back for good and that means I have to move all of this stuff out."

"Is that why you brought me here?" she asked.

"Yeah. Believe it or not, it's kind of hard to think that it's over. I really liked doing this, you know? It was really cool. And, I thought if you were with me it wouldn't be so sad."

He was watching her as she nodded and continued to look over the room, moving from place to place, letting her hand run over certain things. He caught the look of sadness that seemed to creep across her face and somehow knew what brought it on. She was looking at the pictures he had hanging on the walls and it hit him who was missing. She looked over and caught him staring, giving him a sad smile. She returned to her inspection.

There was a picture of him and Puck and Quinn singing, and it must have been new because she couldn't remember the performance and Finn was wearing a cardigan. There was one of him with the cast of Grease in costume. He was beaming with pride and she couldn't help but smile. There was a picture of him in some sort of super hero costume? He was standing in a pose with a bald Artie, a super hero Blaine, and Sam in a suit of some kind. She giggled out loud and looked at him questioningly.

"I'm the Almighty Treble Clef," he said with the shyest of shrugs and a blush on his cheeks.

"You're adorable," she said back, causing him to raise his head and meet her adoring eyes. He smiled.

And just as quickly, she turned around again. This time she scanned his bulletin board. There were newspaper articles about the musical and the scandal surrounding Sectionals. There were little notes from the Glee kids, she assumed, thanking him or making an inside joke of some kind. There was a sheet torn out of a coloring book that she assumed was art work from Brittany. On his desk, she saw scattered pages of sheet music with notes in his handwriting. Good notes. Seasoned notes. And the weight of it landed on her with full force and tears came without warning. He had a whole life here that she knew nothing about. He had had all these moments that she knew nothing about. It occurred to her that she hadn't really given much thought to it. She had arrogantly assumed that she was the only one doing anything notable and he was what? Sitting in Ohio pining after her? What a reality check she was getting today. Her eyes landed on a bag of some sort filled with... was that Pepto Bismol?

"Finn? What's this?" She held up the black pouch.

He chuckled a bit and walked over to take it from her. "Well, OK. My first day in charge was, well, crap for lack of a better word. I came in and had no idea what I was doing. Half of the people I was supposed to be leading were my peers like, five minutes ago. I couldn't even find a damn marker. I had no plan and on the spot, I came up with Foreigner-"

"That's perfect for you-" she started.

"While dressing in costumes from foreign nations." he finished.

"Oh," she bit her lips to keep from laughing. He shot her an "I told you so" face.

"There were fights, and Blaine almost left, and this new kid, Ryder-"

"The kid who played Danny?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, "he was having problems. It was an absolute disaster. But, I somehow managed to pull it together, with some good advice. We all dressed like superheroes and worked together, and I don't know, became a team I guess." He was still holding the pouch and he looked down to see Rachel looking up at him with such pride. It felt really good to see her look at him like that again.

"I'm not surprised at all, Finn. That's what you do. You rally people together. You did it for all of us. You inspired us. Your presence alone gave us our start and it kept it glued together for years." She watched him duck his head bashfully under her praise. "So, tell me what's in here," she said, trying to break the heaviness of the moment.

Finn smiled. "Well, there're markers because, like I said, I couldn't find one. There's Pepto Bismol, you know for well, show choir squirts, I think they called it," he laughed at her wrinkled nose. She reached in and brought out a doll head and gave him a wide eyed look with more than a hint of fear.

"Brittany," he said with a shrug. Rachel nodded, needing no further explanation.

Her fingers traced the gold treble clef attached to the outside. "Almighty Treble Clef?" Her smile was one of sweetness, adoration.

"Yeah," he said with a sheepish grin, removing it from the fabric and holding it between his fingers. "They said I was the uniter of glee clubs or something. They were just trying to be nice. They needed me to stick around," he sighed, eyes still fixed on the small piece of metal he was holding.

Rachel watched this with amazement. He was being so modest. Almost, scoffing at their assessment of him as unwarranted. He still doesn't get it?

He pulled his attention away from the pin when he felt her hand on his shoulder. "You are, Finn. Like I said, it's what you do. And not just glee clubs. People. You unite people. You are a natural leader." Her voice was so smooth and filled with such sincerity. He nodded, accepting her words.

Rachel hesitantly took the pin from his hands and looked at it for a moment or two. "Look how much they love and respect you." Then, without looking at his face, she moved in front of him and slowly reached up to secure it to his collar. He watched with laser like focus as she ran her hand over it to pat it into place. Only then did she look into his eyes. His eyes were boring into hers with such intensity she thought she might fall underneath it. He was so close to her. She searched his face. There were traces of the boy who united her glee club. The boy who had the music. But, he looked so much more like a man. Maybe it was the fact that he was thinner. Maybe it was simply just that he was older. Or maybe it was experience and growth. Maturity and sacrifice. And though she saw the man in front of her, her heart saw, probably would always see, the boy who kissed her first.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered, so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. His eyes roamed her face from her eyes to her lips.

"You always used to know what I was thinking," she whispered back. She felt his hands rest on her hips, lighter than air, but still heavy enough to weaken her knees.

"You never used to try and hide it from me," he said, still whispering. Still searching.

"Look at me, Finn. I'm not trying to hide right now. I'm here. Right in front of you. So, you tell me, what am I thinking?" Her words came breathlessly as the weight of his stare and his nearness threatened to take her over completely. She placed her palms on his chest and slid them up over his shoulders and back around his neck. Her fingers played with the hair on the back of his head and noticed that there was less of it than there used to be. She felt his hands slide around to meet at the small of her back.

"Kiss me?" he asked so quietly he merely breathed the words, both as an answer to her question and a personal request. He grinned when she nodded her head yes.

Their lips met in a firm yet gentle kiss and both whimpered at the contact. His hands gripped her skin a little tighter and her arms encircled his neck a little closer. She opened her mouth immediately and he slid his tongue inside to taste her own. He inhaled sharply at the contact and she let a small moan escape her throat. The kiss intensified from there. Tongues explored and lips engaged in a sensual dance. His hands left their place on her hips and came up to grip the sides of her head, never breaking their kiss while he walked her backward until her bottom hit his desk. She instinctively lifted herself onto it and he stepped between her legs to get closer. She clutched at the collar of his shirt with one hand and soon, it slipped inside to touch the skin of his neck. Rachel caught Finn's bottom lip in between her own and sucked it softly, letting it go with a smack. There was a split second of eye contact before, barely giving her time to breathe, he leaned right back in to start all over.

No words could express what he was feeling in this moment. All of those months of missing her, wanting her, dying inside because of her were all culminating in this moment. He could feel her. He could taste her. And she was like water in the desert. She was his survival. He couldn't get enough.

And for her part, this was the home she was craving and had convinced herself no longer existed. It was everything she had ever wanted and so much more because now she appreciated every sensation so much more. No one had ever made her feel so much from one kiss. And no one but Finn Hudson ever would. These were the feelings that movies were made of. Songs were written about. And it was hers for the taking.

By this time, what started as a kiss had morphed into something so much more heated and intense. Both of them were gasping for air and Rachel's legs had locked behind Finn's thighs. One hand gripped her butt and the other was holding her jaw. He broke the kiss for the first time to move his lips to her neck and he heard her purr while she pulled his lips even further into her skin.

"God, I've missed you," he murmured against her as he remained unrelenting with his kisses.

"I've missed you, too, Finn," she choked out against the growing desire that was building up in her body. She pulled his head back up to bring their lips back together, needing to taste him again.

Just then, an alarm sounded on Finn's phone. A reminder. A cold shower. Finn groaned in annoyance and they froze in place, both breaking into huge smiles. Rachel reached both hands up to grip his wrists where they rested on either side of her face. "I am so sorry," he said as they giggled nervously together and he kissed her quickly just once more before reaching into his back pocket to retrieve his phone.

"Crap!" he spat in frustration. "I have to pick up the tuxes. I completely forgot."

Rachel was still trying to catch her breath from their kiss, her fingers touching her well kissed lips. "Ok," she said, gathering her wits once more. "Then we had better get going."

"I'd rather stay here and finish this kiss," he said with mischief in his eyes as he sauntered back into his original position. He leaned back in to take her lips with his again. Rachel let herself fall back into the feelings he created within her before stopping him gently.

"Finn?"

He pulled away and nuzzled her nose with his. "Hmmm?"

"Not that I couldn't stay here and do this with you for hours, but, we really have to go if we are going to pick up those suits and get to the rehearsal on time." She moved around his face to place light kisses on his cheek and along his jaw.

His eyes slipped closed and he just took in the warmth that was flowing through him with every touch. He mustered up all the resolve he had within him and agreed.

"OK. But we will finish this later, right? Please say we will..."

In a whisper she promised, "we will, Finn. I promise."

He took a step back from her, knowing that if he didn't he never would. Finn extended his hand to Rachel an she took it, hopping down from the desk she was sitting on.

"Before we go I want to show you something," he said pulling her close and opening his top desk drawer.

She peeked inside and tears sprung to her eyes when she saw what was laying on top. It was a framed photo of the two of them from Nationals the year before. She was beaming in her bright red dress and his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Both of them stood behind the huge trophy they'd be taking home. They held up their index fingers to show that they were #1.

"I couldn't do any of this without you, Rach. Your my inspiration. Even if you aren't in the room, your voice is with me always. I keep this in here so I don't have to answer a bunch of questions that will hurt and because sometimes looking at it breaks my heart. But, it's in here. And when I need a dose of courage or an epiphany, I look at it."

She was wiping away full blown tears.

"Thank you," she whispered, unable to find her voice.

"Thank _you_," he countered.

Realization suddenly dawned on her. "We didn't pack anything up, Finn," she said, realizing that's why he had brought her there in the first place. He walked her out the door and turned out the light as they passed the switch and they made their way down the hallway hand in hand.

"It's alright. I'll come back later and take care of it."

"Can I come with you?" she asked.

"You want to come with me?" He was surprised, but happy.

"Of course I do, Finn. You wanted me there and I want to be there."

"I'd like that," he admitted as they made their way out of the building and into the parking lot.

He walked her to her side of the truck and when she was settled in her seat he turned to close her door. Before he could get too far, she reached out and pulled him back to her. She smiled coyly before she pulled him into another kiss. It was slow and sweet and it made him feel like he was floating.

"Just wanted another kiss from my favorite super hero," she teased.

"Are you mocking me," he asked, feigning his hurt.

"No," she whispered sincerely, and shook her head slowly. He couldn't help but smile at her as he closed her door and rounded his truck. When he got it started he heard her say, "You've always been my hero."

He felt a lump rise to his throat remembering hearing her say those words and he returned the first ones to come to his mind, "And you've always been mine."

**There it is... the next chapter! I really hope you liked it. I have just been thinking about all the things Finn and Rachel have done this season that the other has no clue about. And I hope the editing is OK. I am practically falling asleep while checking it so I apologize for errors! I would love it if you would review... you'd be my hero! ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for following, favoriting, reviewing, and sending the love. **

It had already been decided that there would be two group performances at the Schuester's wedding reception. One given by the original New Directions and one given by the new New Directions with a few solos and duets by the former thrown in for good measure. So after the wedding rehearsal in which someone who is highly overpaid came in with a clipboard and told everyone when to walk, where to stand, and what to say, the two groups met up at the reception hall in the hotel to work through their respective numbers. Deciding to choose a number to get people on their feet, the originals went first, wanting to show off just a little.

They rehearsed their number and in classic New Directions style, nailed it in a short amount of time. Singing and dancing with the people she had grown to love so much, Rachel felt more herself and more confident than she had in the months she had been away. And when required to partner up, old habits proved hard to break. Finn and Rachel naturally gravitated to each other and the others just expected it. Blending their voices, even just the few bars they had all to themselves, made the same magic it always had. Their eyes met as they moved in tandem, instinctively sensing what how the other would move or which inflection they would add to the vocals. And it was as if the rest of the room disappeared and they were back in time... a simpler time without different paths and broken dreams and trains and shacking up. When it was time to stop and take a break to let Finn get the others get started, it was hard for both of them to let go. This did not go unnoticed by their friends, who were making not so subtle faces at one another. Rachel moved to the table where most of them had gathered, bottled water in her hand. Facing Kurt, Santana, and Mercedes with their knowing grins and suppressed laughter.

With a roll of her eyes, she said, "Alright. Go ahead. Let it out. You know you're going to anyways. May as well get it over with." She waited with her arms crossed, took another drink of her water and recrossed her arms. "Who's gonna go first?"

"Why, whatever do you mean? What is it that you suspect we need to say?" Kurt asked, sly grin creeping across his face.

"Cause if you're talking about the blatant and borderline obscene display of eye relations you and the jolly green giant were having out there, I'd rather not relive it," offered Santana, though her knowing smile cancelled out her feigned disgust. Without looking away from Rachel, she held her fist over for Kurt to bump and then they "blew it up," both sets of eyes on Rachel.

Giggling at Rachel's narrowed eyes and pursed lips, Mercedes went next, though she was much more tender about it. "Seriously, Berry. What is up with you and Finn? If we didn't all know better, we'd think nothing had happened with you two."

Moving to sit, Rachel stared at the table cloth a moment. "I don't know. That's my answer. It's almost like it didn't. I mean, I was expecting to fell all this awkwardness and leftover hurt and anger. And I did. But, we stayed up all night last night _talking,_" she emphasized in reaction to the wide eyes looking back at her, " and we got a lot of things out in the open and cleared off the table. And I don't know, this morning, it didn't hurt as much. And by the time we were making out on his desk this afternoon, it was like it was all worth it." She finished with a shrug, knowing she had just incited a small riot.

"You what?" Kurt shrieked before bringing his voice down to human levels. "You what?" he repeated, looking between the shocked faces of their table mates.

"Calm down, Kurt. We spent the day together. He took me to his office with the intentions of cleaning it out and it just kind of happened. And I'm not sorry. Because I felt complete for the first time in months. I felt loved and safe and right." She trailed of as her eyes caught sight of him and her face lit up. He glanced back over his shoulder from across the room and winked at her, widening her smile by a mile.

"Rachel, you have to be careful. I told you. Finn was not OK for a very long time after you guys broke up and if you are just going to-" Santana began, surprising even herself at the protectiveness she felt for Finn Hudson.

"And Rachel was lying to herself every time she said she was over it," Kurt interjected, giving Rachel a supportive smile. Santana and Mercedes nodded in understanding. "Now, let's stop with the third degree because my moisturizers are not going to apply themselves and I must get my sleep lest I be less than my vibrant self tomorrow. Mercedes?"

Mercedes lifted her hand to join her friend. "You gonna put that stuff on me, too?" she kidded and then turned to look at Rachel. "For what it's worth, I think you two belong together. I've never seen love like that, Girl." She squeezed Rachel's shoulder and she and Kurt left the room.

Santana and Rachel sat in silence for awhile after their friends left. Finally, Santana stood. "OK, Frodo, look. It's not that I am taking Shaq's side over yours. It's just that, and if you tell anybody I said this I'll call you a damn liar, but I don't know how many more breaks you guys can suffer before the damage can't be undone. And, I really want to see you two make it. Because, if you can't? There sure as hell isn't any hope for the rest of us." With those words, she walked out of the room leaving Rachel to her thoughts.

Her attention turned to the front of the room where Finn was working with the glee club. He was rearranging people for a certain sound he was going for and she was suddenly very intrigued with what he was trying. It was very creative. Something she wouldn't have thought to do but would have wished she had. She began watching him closely and listening to him intently and suddenly she was lost in it. He was practically glowing. So alive. When he had been in New York he was a shell of himself. He was empty and aimless. But, here? Directing these kids? He was radiating joy. And, he was so at ease with them. A natural. They listened to him, respected him. She watched the new girl, Marley? She had gotten discouraged with one of the harder intervals of the song and Finn flawlessly walked her through it until she got it. Patiently. Encouragingly. And it was as if Rachel could literally see the girl's confidence return. Two of the boys started sniping at each other and Finn stepped in and stopped it with only a few words and a look of meaning business. But, they were laughing with him when he stepped away. Rachel was in awe of the man before her. This was no boy. He no longer looked like a student who only came back because he had nowhere else to go. He looked like their leader. Their teacher. Her heart swelled with pride to the point of bursting. Had he not seen it yet? That the light that was now lighting him from within was coming from this position of helping these kids be the very best they could be? And in that moment, she knew. She knew that she would move heaven and earth to keep that look on his face. That no matter what else happened, Finn Hudson would achieve all he ever dreamed of. It's what he did for her, after all. It's what they always did for each other.

When Finn dismissed them all, giving them last minute instructions and threatening reminders to be on time, he turned and almost looked surprised to see Rachel still sitting there, eyes fixed on him.

"What's that face?" he asked with a smirk as he slowly made his way over to her.

She smiled shyly back up at him from her seat. "Oh, nothing. I've just never seen you in action before. It was inspiring."

Shoving his hands into his pockets and giving a humble shrug, "They do all the work. I just watch."

Rachel stood slowly, face turned toward the ground as she took the six steps necessary to meet him. When she was mere inches away, she hesitantly placed her hands against his shoulders, feeling the heat from his skin under his white t shirt. When she finally looked up to connect with his eyes, she said, "Oh, Finn. You do so much more than watch. You make them shine." She beamed at him with pride and adoration and sincerity.

"Thanks, Rach," he said, accepting her compliment.

Finn let his hands find her hips, nudging her slightly until she was pulled flush against him and she let her arms snake around his waist, laying her head on his chest and holding him close. She felt his head land softly on hers and her eyes closed at the sensation. It was here she belonged. Here that the world made sense and it was here that she made her final decision. She was Finn Hudson's girl. Come hell or high water, she was in this for the long haul. She moved her head back to look at him and the love she found coming back at her was enough to steal her breath.

"Let's go to bed," she said in a whisper, taking his hand and leading him behind her. He followed behind her closely, holding her fingers tightly between his own.

They walked in silence the entire walk back to their rooms. Rachel led him into her room, closing the door behind them. She walked over to the desk and began removing her jewelry as Finn stood just inside the room, his eyes never leaving her. He couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful she was and felt a longing to call her his own that was stronger than it had ever been. Sensing his gaze, she turned her head to smile at him. Remaining silent, she walked over to the bed to turn down the covers and glanced up at his face again. He was watching her with great intensity now, anticipation etched in his features. Rachel lowered the lights down to a faint glow from one lamp and walked over to where Finn had been standing since he entered the room.

Her eyes darted up to his and without tearing them away, she clutched her hands around the hem of his shirt and lifted it. He raised his arms and helped her when she could no longer reach. He handed the soft fabric to her and she couldn't help but giggle a little before she let it fall to the ground. Finn's eyes followed her small hands as they found rest, palms down, on his abdomen. She could see the changes that had taken place on his body since the last time she had seen it and wondered if they were made on purpose or were the result of a hard few months. He watched intently, inhaling deeply as her hands crept over his belly up to his chest and over his shoulders, finally sliding down his arms, landing on his waist. She needed to touch him. Feel him beneath her hands. Know that he was real. Her eyes, which had been taking inventory of his body made their way back up to his face. She was nearly knocked breathless by the weight of his stare. It was full of desire, but colored with a deep shade of love.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Finn bent his head and Rachel rose to meet him as their lips met for the third time that day. But this time they weren't in public and had no place in particular to be. There was no hurry. They could take their time rediscovering this feeling. They had all night. So the kiss reflected that in its slow burn. Finn's hands were cradling the back of her neck while his thumbs caressed her jaw. He guided her face as he kissed her languidly, tasting all he wanted to taste and feeling all he wanted to feel. She gave him free reign of her mouth, opening it to him as his tongue slid smoothly across her own. Her hands found a resting place around the waist band of his jeans and she felt his stomach clench when her fingers brushed the skin there. Finn drew in a sharp breath and she smiled against his lips, coaxing a smile from him as well. He continued to kiss her, and just as she was raising her arms to circle his neck, he caught her around her forearms and broke their kiss. Looking deep into her chocolate eyes, he reached down to pull her shirt over her head and drop it next to his own. His nimble fingers slid up her back from her waist to the clasp of her white lacy bra. With a single familiar motion, he had it in the growing pile next to their feet as well. He took a moment to take her in, really see her. She showed no signs of shyness as he appraised her body. She knew she was worshipped, no need to doubt it. Finn shook his head in wonderment before reaching out and letting his palms brush across her breasts, speeding up her breathing. He pulled her against him to feel her skin against his and she watched as his eyes closed from the sensation. When they opened to find her looking into them, he smiled behind heavy lids and began walking them back to the bed. Before she let him lay her down, she unbuttoned his jeans, letting them fall to the floor and he rid her of her skirt.

Laying beside her, propping his head up on his fist, he just looked at her. He studied her face, dark chocolate eyes looking at him with such trust. Such love. He knew he had missed having her look at him this way, but had no idea just how much until he was actually seeing it for himself again. When her hand came up to stroke his cheek, his eyes closed involuntarily as he took in the feeling of it. Looking at her once more, he smiled and let his hand wander across her naked chest down her abdomen to lightly run his fingers over her lower belly. He bent to kiss her softly.

"Have you missed me?" His whisper provided the first words that had been spoken since they had entered the room. He was avoiding her eyes, a tiny bit afraid of her answer. She took control of his face and turned it so that he had to look at her.

"Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, Finn."

Her face was so sincere and so full of emotion that it caught him by the heart and refused to let go. He released a heavy breath that he had been holding and a chuckle came out with it. He nodded, accepting her sentiment, and lowered his lips to hers once more. Then twice.

"I've missed you so much at times that I thought it might actually kill me, Rachel. It physically hurt not to have you near me," he moved then, to place light kisses along the side of her neck.

"I'm here now," she said so softly and he stilled his movements and buried his face further in her neck. "And I want to feel you again, Finn. Feel what it's like to be loved beyond reason. And that's a feeling I've only ever gotten with you. That I only ever want to get with you."

And it was a feeling he gave her from that moment until their bodies were both spent and their exhaustion gave way to sleep.

Waking up in his arms once again, Rachel smiled to herself against his chest. As if he either sensed her or felt her smile against his chin, he spoke. "I love you."

Rachel's head shot up immediately as she looked at Finn in surprise. It wasn't that she didn't already know. And it wasn't as if she wasn't absolutely thrilled to hear the words, but she just wasn't expecting them.

"I-I'm sorry. It's just that I've been laying here for like an hour listening to you breathe and I just couldn't wait to tell you and I decided that as soon as you woke up I'd just say it and I'm sorry I underst-"

She could see the terror on his face and realized she hadn't responded. So she cut him off with a kiss. He smiled sleepily and she returned the grin.

"I love you, too. Always."

She felt him relax underneath her and she laid her head back down, letting her fingers trail across his chest and belly. They lay in the quiet of 5 am, both feeling safe, connected, and peaceful. Neither knew what was to come when the weekend was over and the distance still loomed, but in that moment it didn't matter. Because, without speaking a word, they both just knew. The Universe had done it's thing. The rest was just details.

**Sorry this chapter is so short! It was going to be longer, but I decided just to make it into two chapters. I just thought that after this week, you guys might want something happy to read! I will try to update soon... my Canadian muse has my heart tied up at the moment! I hope you guys liked this chapter... I hear we might be getting some real Finchel development before the season ends... so YAY! Thank you all for your encouragement. It really does mean a lot to me!Please review if you feel so led... they are like drops of sunshine! (But, if you hate it... you're thoughts are still appreciated... just not so sunny! ) Hugs!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry this update has taken so long! I got a gentle nudge today from two precious ladies, Lari and Ania to get my hiney moving! So, I got right on it! If you like what's coming, you have them to thank! ;) Hope you like where this takes us.**

The scent of her hair hit him first and he instinctually buried his face in it, breathing her in deeply. Four months of waking up without her made him appreciate this on a completely different level. His hold on her tightened, bringing her bare back as close to his bare chest as was humanly possible. He felt her move against him, stretching slightly, before he felt his wrist being brought to her mouth where she placed a series of feather light kisses there and along his forearm where it wrapped around her shoulders.

"Good morning," she murmured against the skin of his arm with an almost embarrassed smile and a cute little giggle.

"The best," he replied, his voice rough from sleep, his lips placing sweet kisses in the crook of her neck. Rachel let her head rest against his, enjoying the sensation he was sending through her body. "How'd you sleep?" Finn asked, still placing kisses where he wanted to without any protest from her.

"Well..." she drew out her word as she maneuvered her body around to face him. "Hi," she said dreamily when she saw his face. Before continuing her thought, she kissed him softly, lightly sucking his bottom lip into her mouth. She pulled her lips into her mouth when she let his go to hold the sensation there just a smidge longer. "I slept better than I have since the night before I left for New York, which if I remember correctly looked a whole lot like this." She said this without even a trace of sadness or regret. Three days ago, it would have still felt like being burned alive, but now? It's amazing the difference clarity, communication, and a side of Finn Hudson can make.

"Me, too," he whispered softly, kissing her again to show her he meant it. She lost herself in the feel of him and then she made a sudden move. She sat up abruptly, not bothering to cover herself, and disappeared into the bathroom. She reappeared mere seconds later swishing something in her mouth and holding out a cup of green liquid for him to take. He took it, shaking his head while chuckling and tossed it back. Finn sat back against the headboard, swishing the mouth wash around his mouth and watched Rachel, standing in front of him without a stitch of clothing to cover her, puffing out her cheeks and trying not to smile at him as she did the same. He could feel his lower half react to the vision before him but at the same time, for some reason it made him feel incredibly safe. It was one of the most intimate moments they had ever shared. So real life. So what he wanted for the rest of his life. Eyes still focused on her face, he somehow managed to smirk around what he was doing and she turned quickly to retrieve a trash can, holding it out for him to spit. Then she did the same. He was finally able to release the laugh he had been restraining and with an exaggerated, smack of her lips and a breathed "ahhh," she returned to her spot under the covers and he cradled her back into his arms.

"Only you, Rachel Berry," he said through his laughter as she got settled and placed a kiss onto her forehead once she was still.

With a giggle, she snuggled in even closer, laying her head against his chest. "You have to admit we smell better than before." She tilted her face up to look at him and found dimples staring back at her.

"Yes, we do," he smirked and bent his neck to meet her lips with his own. Sliding his hand up to caress her jaw, he captured her in a slow, hot kiss. He let his tongue explore her mouth, running it across her bottom lip just before he sucked on it and let it go with a loud smack. "Taste better, too," he said with a quick raise of his eyebrows.

"Mmmm," she groaned lustfully, eyes still closed, enjoying the feeling he left her with. Opening her eyes to find him looking into them, Rachel ran her hand over his body, starting her journey just above his hip bone and continuing over his abs and across his chest, finally arriving over his shoulder, using it as leverage to pull her face closer to his.

She kissed his cheek as his eyes fell shut, and she spoke while still lingering over his face. "I've missed your kisses."

"Yeah?" he asked playfully and nudged her nose with his nose.

"Mhmmm," she murmured suggestively and moved to deliver a kiss to his neck. "And I missed this vein... right... here," she said, running her tongue along the vein in his neck that she always found so sexy. She grinned smugly against his skin when she heard him inhale sharply and felt his body tremble slightly underneath her.

"What else did you miss?" Finn asked, his voice strained.

Moving down his body, Rachel placed an open mouthed kiss over his heart. "Your big, soft heart with so much love and passion inside it," she whispered, continuing her kisses across his chest. She moved further down, glancing back to see his eyes filled with lust and anticipation, his breathing quickening with her every touch. Lowering her lips to his belly, she sucked gently on the spot just above his belly button. "I missed your tummy an the way it seems to always be hungry." He managed a sweet smile and a barely there shrug through the haze she was creating around him. Moving even lower, she ran her tongue across a lone freckle in the center of his hip bone. "And this freckle-"

"-Brad..." he interjected with a knowing smirk.

Rachel smiled up at him, loving that he remembered the name she gave it. "Yes...Brad," she answered with a giggle.

"Anything else you miss?" he asked, his voice low, the question obviously loaded.

And she answered it with 100% accuracy, leaving Finn gripping the sheets and calling her name. And he was only too happy to run down his own list of things he missed until she was responding the exact same way.

Laying in a tangle, Finn stroking Rachel's hair, Rachel letting her fingers play in his at the base of his neck, they talked for hours that morning. They had nowhere to be until later in the afternoon and they took full advantage of every second and they didn't have to leave the bed to do it. After hearing all of Rachel's New York stories, including how Kurt found himself paying a $20 cover charge to get into a crowded Starbucks only to find out later that whoever took his money wasn't actually employed there, Finn filled Rachel in on every moment she had been absent for and she listened intently. He told her how he came up with the idea for Grease, how he found Ryder and what he had done to get the kid some help. He told her about Jake and Ryder and how he had forced them to see eye to eye. She got to hear about how he was able to rally them back together after they had all quit and gone their separate ways. Story after story of him helping them in some way. Guiding them. He told her how he helped Ryder hit the high B just like she had helped him, well, minus the picnic and the awesome kiss. He earned himself another awesome kiss for that one. Then, he became a little melancholy when he told her he was sad his time was up now that Schue was back for good and that while he had extended Finn an offer to stay on and help, he was going to turn it down because he didn't see how that would help anybody.

"Having a directionless teenager leading New Directions is some kind of sad irony, huh?" he asked her, self deprecating humor still intact. He was picking up sections of her hair and letting his fingers move through to the ends and repeating the gesture.

"You aren't directionless, Finn," Rachel reprimanded, still defensive when someone put him down even if, especially if, that someone was himself.

"Then what am I, Rachel?" He didn't ask with anger in his voice. Only genuine curiosity.

Rachel propped herself up on her elbow to look him in the eye. "I don't know. What are you, Finn Hudson? And how is it that I know but you don't?"

Finn took the hand she was resting on his chest and enveloped it in his and began playing with her fingers. "Well... I'm not a soldier. This much we know. I'm not an actor, and truthfully, I think I just threw that out there because it was a reason to go to New York. If anything, I'm a musician. Not an actor," he glanced at Rachel to gauge her reaction and found her nodding as she listened. "But, if I became a drummer, I'd have to live life on the road and that's not something I really want to do. I really don't think that's what I want to do long term. I would just feel even more unsettled than I've already been. And, it would mean more time away from you which after this week is going to hurt worse then ever," she quickly kissed away the sad and returned to listening. He smiled his thanks and continued. "I love singing. I really do, but I don't think deep down, I want to pursue that as a career. And for the first time in my life, it's not because I doubt my abilities. So, we are back to 'what am I?'" He finished talking and was still playing with her fingers.

"Apparently what you are is blind," she said matter of factly.

"What?"

She reached down to run her fingers through hair above his ear and shook her head slightly. "You really don't know, do you?"

His 'does this look like the face of someone who knows' expression made her snicker. "Finn, what you are... is a teacher."

The quick jerk of his head toward her face and the incredulous look she was met with caused her to release a giggle. "What?" he asked as if she had completely lost her mind.

"You. Are. A. Teacher." She punctuated each word with a light poke of her finger.

Finn just looked back at her blankly and then, as quickly as the incredulity filled his expression when he first heard her, the look of an epiphany took its place. He looked away, processing the sudden revelation she had brought upon him. His eyes were knit in deep thought and it was her gentle laughter that brought his attention back to her.

"C'mon, Finn. You really haven't thought about it at all? I watched you with those guys tonight. You are such a natural at leading them, earning their respect, helping them stretch their talent and grow..."

"You're the one who stretches talent," he replied honestly.

"No," Rachel shook her head. "I was born with it and it was cultivated from the time I started making sounds and my dads used the opportunity to teach me how to match pitch," he chuckled with her this time and tightened his grip just a bit. "But you? You know what it's like to discover that you're talented and work to get better. I've never had a moment in my life where I wasn't aware that I had talent. You have a life experience to give and you share it so naturally. It was inspiring to see you in action. So inspiring, I couldn't wait to get you up here all to myself," she finished almost shyly, garnering herself a kiss because he just couldn't help himself.

"I do really love it, Rachel. Seeing them come together and knowing I had a hand in creating these awesome performances? It's a total rush. I like that they look up to me. I like that I can give them what Mr. Schue gave us, you know?"

She nodded softly. "Yes. I do know. That's kind of what I'm trying to tell you, here. I mean, if your dream is still to perform, I believe in you 100%, but I also know what I'm seeing come alive in you when you are directing them... it's pure magic."

"A teacher..." he said, pondering the idea. "But, how do I even do that?"

"College," she said with a shrug. "Get a degree and share your gift with the world," she beamed so brightly he couldn't help but let himself feel that she was onto something special.

"Rachel, what if I'm not smart enough?" The question came out in a mere whisper, his insecurities stealing the power of his voice.

"Finn, look at me," she didn't give him the chance to obey before she pulled his face over to look her in the eyes. "You? You can do anything. You are one of the smartest people I know. You're life smart. People smart. Music smart. Heart smart. And yes, you had to work a little harder at the book stuff, but you had a high B average when we graduated."

"I had your help then,too, though," he argued, refusing to let go of the crippling disbelief in himself. No matter how much more confident in himself he had become, be still couldn't let himself be free to dream past his current station in life.

"You had me holding you accountable, not doing the work for you. And, look, I don't think you really need it, but you still have my help. You always will."

"That's sweet, Rach," he said before kissing her forehead, "but it's gonna be hard to help me with algebra when you're 800 miles away."

At that, Rachel shifted uncomfortably and nodded, laying her head down on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I don't ever want to be the cause of that again."

"It's not about my feelings, Finn. I just feel so defeated when I think about the space between us and how it makes everything feel so impossible most of the time." She was sad. He could hear it in her voice. "But, you can't let it keep you from your calling. And I know it must seem so presumptuous of me to come breezing in here telling you what you should do. And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. You have to do what's right for you and only you, OK?" She leaned her head back to look at him once more.

"No, Rach. Nothing to apologize for here. In fact, thank you. You have opened my eyes to a brand new dream that was probably in the back of my mind anyway. And even though I have to really think about it, maybe this is what I've been waiting to hear."

"Really?" she said, unable to not feel a little pride over being able to give him something to further his dream after he had given her so, so much to further hers.

"Really," he said sincerely, rolling her over so that he was leaning in above her, sheltering her beneath him. He let his head fall forward slowly so he could kiss her and when her fingers ran through his hair on either side of his head to clasp together at the back of his neck, he shivered and she grinned slyly against the grin that formed on his own mouth.

She broke the kiss only once to say, "Besides, you look so irresistible in your new teacher clothes," she said with a wicked, lip biting grin. And they laughed together again before resuming the day's previous activities.

When Rachel arrived at the wedding on Kurt's arm, she tried to ignore the way he was staring at her. She knew he knew. She knew he was dying to ask about it. And she knew he wouldn't last much longer.

"Go ahead. Ask," she said with a roll of her eyes.

Kurt's eyes grew wider and his questions came out in a blur of words. "Oh, thank God. Ok, let's start with how did it happen? What happened after? Did you talk? Is my brother going to be a mopey mess again? Are you? What does this mean?"

Rachel stared back at him, having expected this very reaction. This man was truly just her in a taller body with different parts. She shook her head to clear it and formulate answers to the barrage of question with which she had just been hit. They continued down the aisle to their second row seats and she tried to keep their conversation to a whisper as they took their seats, the first of the crew to arrive. "Well, last night after you guys went upstairs I watched Finn work with the new kids. And, he's so amazing with them, Kurt. I was fascinated and turned on and completely and totally in love. So, I took him upstairs and did what we should have been doing for months."

"You can spare me the details. I still have the image of you two defiling Carole's brand new chaise lounger on the back porch burned in my brain. How in the hell you two got in that position is beyo-"

"Enough, Kurt," Rachel whispered, looking around to make sure no one was in ear shot. "You were supposed to be at a movie, it's your own fault."

"Trust me. I carry the regret," he quipped dryly, giving an exaggerated shiver.

"Do you want to hear this story or not?" Rachel asked indignantly, arms crossed over her chest.

"Proceed..."

"We had already talked the night before and gotten everything out and dealt with. So, today was just about being together. We didn't leave the bed until Finn had to get ready for pictures. Oh, Kurt, it was the best day I think we've ever had. We talked and shared stories and we may have just stumbled upon what Finn wants to be when he grows up!" She clapped her hands in front of her.

"Are you serious?" he asked, face lit with excitement. "What is it?"

"I'm not going to tell you! It's his news to tell... if he decides it's right for him."

"Traitor," Kurt retorted, but smirked at her anyway, amazed at how well his brother and his best friend worked as a team.

"I love you, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, but my loyalties are a fixed point," she said, patting his arm and shrugging unapologetically.

"I know," he replied with feigned disgust. "I will admit that it is actually something I admire about the two of you. So... what does this mean? Are you guys back together for good? Is this a wedding thing? What's going to happen when we get on that plane back to New York?"

Rachel's face fell a tiny bit. "Way to kill my buzz, Kurt!"

"I'm just trying to prepare you for the inevitable, Honey. I love you so much and I have to protect that heart of yours." He leaned into her with his shoulder slightly and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I know. And I'm grateful, but the truth is, I don't know. I know that I love him without a trace of doubt and I know he loves me and for awhile I though that maybe that just wasn't enough, but now? I think 'how can it not be?' He's it for me. He always has been and yes, maybe I lost my way, but maybe I had to, you know? Maybe I was supposed to live a different life for awhile so that I could appreciate the one I'm meant to have. The one I've always been meant to have? And spending the night in his arms? I ju-"

"Holy shit, you and Geoffrey the Giraffe finally did it!" Santana said loudly from the pew behind them where she had been sitting and eavesdropping ever since Kurt killed Rachel's buzz.

"Shhh!" Rachel hissed. "God, Santana! Have you no discretion?"

"Pshhh, it's not like we all didn't know that's where you two were all day," Santana said... more quietly than before. "It's not exactly earth shattering news."

"What's not earth shattering news?" Mercedes asked, having walked up on the conversation with Puck on her arm. They both slid into the seat next to Santana.

"That C3PO and R2D2 totally got it on last night... and most of the day if I'm guessing correctly." Mercedes' jaw dropped and Puck grinned a cocky grin.

"Santana," Rachel spat, angry and embarrassed all at the same time. "That's private information."

"Then stop talking about it at a public event," Santana retorted.

"Damn!" Puck burst out. "Should have gone for another bet..." His statement was received with a punch to the side from Mercedes. "Ow! What did I say? Jeez."

"Rachel, what happens in the bedroom is between you and Finn," Mercedes stepped in to say.

"Thank you, Mercedes."

"I bet that's the only thing that would have fit between them if you know what I mean," Puck said with an obscene gesture to go with his comment.

Rachel dropped her face into her palms to cover the blood red shade she could feel all over her face. They were in a church for goodness sake. She heard the music change and sensed movement at the front of the church. There, entering the room was Mr. Schue, who caught her eye immediately and smiled a warm familiar smile. And right behind him stood Finn. Her Finn. In a tux that made her mouth water. The last time she had seen him in a tux was at prom where he made her feel like a queen and she even walked away with a crown. He looked even more handsome and his eyes were fixated on hers as he watched her assess him. When her tongue darted out, he couldn't help but smirk. And, then he winked at her just for good measure and deepened his dimpled grin when he saw her catch her breath.

"You're beautiful," he mouthed, awestruck at the way she looked as well; hair falling loosely around her bare shoulders, meeting the purple lace of the strapless dress she was wearing.

"You do, too," she mouthed back, enjoying the way his cheeks colored when she did it.

Yeah. It no longer mattered how many miles or obstacles got between them. She wasn't leaving this place without the express knowledge that this man was hers to keep.

The ceremony was beautiful and it brought tears and laughter all around as any wedding worth its salt will do. The guests left and the bridal party stayed for a few more pictures. Rachel didn't get to see Finn before being pulled to the car by Kurt, who was eager to get to the reception early to help set up for the performances. Rachel had a feeling it somehow involved Blaine, but didn't press. Forty five minutes later, she was standing in the ball room sipping her sparkling cider and watching the early arrivers at the buffet line or dancing when a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behinf nearly causing her to drop her glass. But, she smiled and melted into him immediately, letting her head fall back against his chest.

"Hello, Best Man," she purred. "I missed you." She felt him bend to kiss her cheek.

"Hello," he said softly in her ear. "I missed you, too. And this dress? Wow."

Rachel set her glass on the table next to them and turned so that she could face him. Finn adjusted his body so that he was holding her close to him. He kissed her, finally, her lips so soft and tasting of strawberries that he got dizzy trying to take in the sensations. Her hands rested on his shoulders and his hands slid to clutch her hips. Forgetting everything around them, Finn kissed her more deeply, her mouth opening to let him in. Feeling his tongue moving against her own made her knees a little wobbly and she had to pull away before this small crowd got way more than it bargained for.

Everyone arrived shortly after, Mr. and Mrs. Schuester radiating happiness as they took to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife. Rachel sat secured in Finn's lap, much to the chagrin and taunting of their friends. But with every jab, their grip on the the other's hand simply tightened. Nobody was taking this from them.

After the bride and groom had their moment, others were invited to join them. The table dispersed, everyone pairing up with someone. "Will you dance with me?" Finn asked.

"Always," Rachel said in reply. She took Finn's hand and led him onto the dance floor. They assumed the position. You know? Standing as close as possible, hands on hips, hands around neck. Rachel's head lay on Finn's chest and he was just about to slide them around to take her in a full embrace when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Mind if I cut in, Stranger?" a voice came from behind.

Finn turned and Rachel peeked around him to find an auburn haired girl smiling at them awkwardly. He looked like he might throw up and it didn't take Rachel long to catch on. Straightening her posture, she held her hand out for the other girl to take. "You must be Sarah."

**Don't throw things because I left you hanging! It was all just a bit too easy, don't you think? And I addressed one of the major problems I had with Finn's storyline on the show. Marley was the one to make him see his dream? No thank you! And with no further discussion he just appeared at a conveniently located University? Really? And I know there are many who don't want Finn to be a teacher. But, I'm on board. I just wish there would be more emphasis on why he chooses it over performing. And that it's his CHOICE and not him settling out of self doubt. I shall stop my sermon now. I hope you liked it... if you're happy and you know it, please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**OK... I know. Sara... EW! But, bear with me because a jealous Rachel is all kinds of fun in my head! Again, I apologize for keeping you waiting!**

Finn stood motionless and watched the exchange between the two women with his mouth half hanging open and his eyes darting back and forth. Rachel might have actually found the look on his face comical if not for the sudden urge to climb him like a tree and claim him in the name of Berry.

"Hello, Rachel. I guess Finn must have mentioned me," Sara replied sweetly, chancing a glance up to Finn's face. "I'm so sorry to intrude. I honestly didn't see you from my spot behind Finn. You kind of got lost around there." The girl gave a chuckle and Rachel didn't know whether to be insulted or not.

"Well," Rachel said with ease as she stepped a bit closer to Finn and tightened her grip on his waist causing him to grunt softly, "I suppose that's an easy mistake to make. I do tend to get lost in him a lot of the time." Rachel chuckled, ran a hand over Finn's chest and turned a beaming smile up toward him. Meanwhile, Finn suddenly went from incredibly uncomfortable to very much amused. He knew what this was and he couldn't help but think of how he had felt when Brody was still in the picture and though they were clearly reconciled, and he would never ever hurt her on purpose, he also couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of vindication as he saw the burning jealousy in Rachel's dark brown eyes. He didn't even try to stop the almost smug smirk that was spreading across his lips.

"He does make that very easy to do," Sara said with an easy laugh, unashamedly not trying to hide her adoration even being so bold as to stroke Finn's arm. Finn's eyebrows shot up and oscillated between Sara's hand on his arm and Rachel's murderous expression.

"Yes. It is," Rachel said coolly with a narrow eyed glare that gave way to a raised eyebrow and a jutted out jaw. Out of instinct, Finn secured his hand against her waist as it wrapped just a little further around her body. To an innocent bystander it appeared only a loving gesture. But, he and Rachel both knew he was holding her back from attacking while also reassuring her that he belonged to her.

Finn, trying to keep the peace, cleared his throat and interjected, "So, Sara, I wasn't expecting you to be here. How'd you get invited?" Realizing his words may have sounded offensive, he backpedaled.  
"I mean... not that you shouldn't be... I know you were a student at McKinley, too, and all, but... And well, we date-... What I mean is..."

"You are so cute when you ramble," Sara said with a giggle. "Isn't he cute when he rambles?" she addressed to Rachel. Finn felt Rachel's hand fist his shirt slightly and he smoothed a hand across the small of her back to calm her.

"Finn's cute when he does a lot of things," Rachel said, her voice calm and full of insinuation, face hard set, allowing her hand to roam across Finn's belly just above his belt. Rachel's gesture didn't go unnoticed by Sara. The girl's face finally registered awareness and that's when Rachel saw something disconcerting upon it. Challenge.

"So, about that dance," Sara reminded without looking away from Rachel before she turned her attention to Finn. Either this girl was clueless or incredibly stupid. Rachel was leaning toward the latter.

Finn cleared his throat, trying to quickly think of a kind way to decline. True, it was only a dance with a girl he had barely dated, but in light of recent developments and the as yet undetermined state of his renewed relationship with Rachel, he felt uneasy about it. And Sara wasn't helping matters with her bold flirtation. "You still haven't told me how you know the Schue's," he said. Deflection is always a good strategy.

"Oh! I am here with my Mom and Dad. I can't believe I never mentioned this before, but, they are very close friends with Emma's parents. Ginger power and all..." she said with an exaggerated eye roll, a fist thrown in the air, and a twirl of her auburn hair.

Finn chuckled before he could help himself and Sara laughed with him. Rachel wondered which hurt more; the fact that he had kissed this girl or the fact that she had made him laugh while Rachel was making him cry.

As her laughter faded, Sara said, "Now, come on. I get that you two have obviously made amends or whatever, but one dance isn't going to hurt anything, is it Rachel? I promise I'll take good care of him and get him back to you in one piece."

Finn looked to Rachel, hoping she'd decline for him and they could move on from this unfortunate run in. But, not wanting to be the "needy girl," and wanting to prove how much she had grown and matured, Rachel agreed. "That's fine," she said with note of indifference, earning a shocked expression from Finn and Sara both. "But," she took a step toward the taller girl to look her right in the eye, "just remember who's taking him home." With that, Rachel turned and leaned up on her toes, grabbed Finn by the tie and pulled him into a scorching open mouthed kiss, making sure to capture his tongue with her own for good measure. Before Finn's hands could reach their destination at her hips, Rachel was releasing him so that she could turn and walk away with quite the swagger, reaching over to pluck a glass of champagne from a passing tray as she disappeared into the crowd. If there was one thing Rachel Berry hadn't lost in her time away, it was her ability to make an exit that lingered long after she was out of sight. In fact, she had just gotten better at it. Finn was still standing there with a dazed, dopey grin on his face watching her walk away while he tried to shake off that kiss. He was exercising every ounce of self control he possessed to not run after her, drag her to the farthest darkest corner of the room, and finish it when Sara spoke.

"Shall we?" she asked after clearing her throat, obviously irritated but amazingly undeterred.

Rachel, Kurt, and Santana stood, drinks in hand, backs to the bar, watching the uneasy dancing that was taking place across the room.

"Well, I'll give one thing up to your man, Berry. He's not letting her in his balloon popping zone if you know what I mean. Hell, you could fit a hot air balloon between them at the distance he's holding her." Santana said with a hint of admiration in her voice before taking a sip from the flute in her hand.

"It's like watching two twelve year olds at their first boy/girl party. Except more awkward," Kurt added. "Cause he's clearly holding her as far away as possible and she is obviously trying to get a little bit closer with ev-"

"Can we just stop talking about it?" Rachel interrupted hastily. "The song will be over soon and she will have gotten what she wants and will run along to find someone else to play with."

"Down kitty! Is someone jealous?" Kurt asked playfully, nudging her shoulder.

"No. Someone isn't," Rachel said unconvincingly while crossing her arms over her chest. She gestured toward the couple in question, "I just don't see why she wants to put herself through it, that's all. I mean, trust me I made it crystal clear that he and I were together-"

"Oh, trust US... we saw. I plan on washing my eyes with bleach later," Santana joked with a grin that said she was more amused than disgusted. "You would have been less obvious if you had just peed on him."

"Gross, Santana." Rachel rolled her eyes at her friend and continued, "Even so, she still insisted on dancing with him. He and I are obviously in love and back together where we belong. It's just sad for her, really," she said flippantly with a dismissive shrug, her eyes never moving off of Finn. "I mean, why would I be bothered if he dances with her? It's not like I'm intimidated by her in the least. If anything, I feel sorry for her." Rachel took another drink from her glass.

Kurt stared at Rachel for a moment as her eyes remained laser focused on the other end of the dance floor, a knowing smirk on his face. She finally turned to look at him, indignant. "Riiiiight," was Kurt's knowing reply. He laughed at the glare he received in return.

When they turned their attention back to Finn and Sara, it looked as if Finn had relaxed a bit and Sara was definitely standing closer to him as they swayed. They were even laughing at something Finn must have said and Sara reached up to smack his chest, letting her hand linger.

Eyebrows raised, Kurt said, "Still feeling sorry for her?" Santana nearly spat the liquid that was in her mouth when she laughed out loud.

Rachel, seething, shot a death stare between her two so called friends, slammed her glass onto the bar, and headed toward the restroom with a long stride and fists clenched. When she finally rounded the doorway of the ladies room and leaned on the sink counter with her hands, she looked at her own face in the mirror in front of her and as she did, she realized that right now, even more than insane jealousy, she was feeling guilt. Just a few short weeks ago, she had purposefully made Finn feel the way she was feeling right now and she kind of wanted to kick herself over it. And, worse, the thing with her and Brody extended way past three dates and a casual dance at a party. She had moved the guy in and left Finn to hurt over it. She had meant to make him jealous, but this? Seeing Finn Hudson, the man that would always be hers and hers alone being touched by that giggly girl with the freckled hands? Hearing him laugh with her? It was torture. And even though her time here had brought them together in a way she had never imagined, and even though she knew this girl meant nothing to Finn and that he was just too good of a guy to hurt the girl's feelings over a harmless dance, there were still lingering issues that would have to be talked out several times she expected. One being a reassurance to Finn that her past actions had been mostly reactions to being without him. But, now she was no longer without him. He was right outside and he loved her and damn it, she hadn't even gotten one dance with him yet. Rachel looked at herself a little while longer, took a deep breath, and exited the bathroom with a determined step and a mission in mind.

Her mission was derailed momentarily when, as she stalked away, she heard the one voice that made her knees tremble speak from behind her.

"Going somewhere?" he asked in a low timbre. Rachel turned, startled, to find him leaning against the wall, arms crossed, amused expression on his drop dead gorgeous face. It would be a total lie to say that she could feel her feet when he looked at her that way. But, determined to keep her pride and her cool, she tried not to let it effect her outwardly.

"Just going back to the party," she said nonchalantly, abandoning her previous plan to go take back what was rightfully hers. By force if necessary. But, he was right in front of her and there was no longer a need. "How was your dance?" she asked, failing miserably at pretending not to care. She picked non existent things off of her dress and twirled her ring around her finger.

Finn studied her poker face, seeing right through it, but allowing her to keep her dignity by not calling attention to it. Pursing his lips and furrowing his brow he said, "It was nice," with a nod and pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against to begin walking toward her. She began moving backward as he advanced on her.

"Good. I'm glad you got to see your little friend. She's a bit perky for my taste, but whatever," Rachel said, feigning her disinterest and keeping her voice even and light. She continued retreating from him and he continued coming toward her.

"Must be that New York attitude," he said with a teasing grin.

"Must be," she agreed, feeling a little breathless as he kept coming closer.

"I saw you leave the ball room. Looked like the place was on fire or something. Why the hurry?" Finn asked, knowing exactly why the hurry and taking great pleasure in knowing how territorial she had actually gotten over him.

"Too much champagne. Nature doesn't wait, Finn." Lame, she thought, but it was all she had on the spur of the moment.

Finn gave a nod of understanding. "So, it had nothing to do with that innocent little dance I shared with a girl I had been dating?" By this point in their conversation, Finn had Rachel backed into a corner. Literally. She felt her back hit the wall and realized she had nowhere else to go. Deciding to give up the charade she was carrying on that was more exhausting than convincing, she relented.

"Maybe," she grumbled under her breath and kept her eyes trained on the ground.

She felt the heat of his body as he leaned closer to her, his face hovering just above hers. In a rough whisper he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you."

Rachel brought her eyes up to meet his and was almost stunned to find out how close they actually were. She barely had to move her eyes at all to make contact and when she took in his face she saw the humor he was taking from all of this and she was equal parts perturbed and turned on.

"I said, maybe, Finn," she said evenly, looking him directly in his amber eyes. His beautiful amber eyes.

"Just maybe?" he provoked, placing his right hand above her head to lean on the wall and using the other to play with a strand of hair that was falling over her shoulder. Her eyes followed his hand, watching him turn and flip her hair through his long fingers. She inhaled deeply, realizing how heated she had become and that he wasn't going to quit until he got the answers he was searching for.

"Ok, yes. Are you happy now? Yes. I left because I couldn't take the sight of her hands all over you, dancing with you, standing close to you, seeing you laugh with her and knowing you had kissed her and I'm jealous. I'm so jealous I could actually visualize myself physically attacking that girl. And it's completely irrational and I know I have no reason to be, but I am. I want to be the only girl in the world who gets to be that close to you and the thought that someone else got the chance is making me crazy inside. There I said it."

Her words hung in the air as Rachel watched Finn for a gloating reaction, but there wasn't one. He just calmly kept up his ministrations with her hair. "Sucks doesn't it?" he finally said matter of factly.

His words hit her gut and she immediately realized what he was thinking. "Finn," she said softly as instinct caused her to reach up to stroke his cheek. Finn circled her wrist with his fingers and turned his lips in to kiss her palm before turning back to smile at her tenderly. He went back to the strand of hair that was holding his attention.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you by saying that, Rachel. I'm OK now. I promise. It's just the truth. Believe me, I know. The thought of that Brody guy touching you, kissing you, waking up with you? It killed me every time I thought about it... which was pretty much constantly. And what hurt the most was that I was the one who sent you in his direction. But, Sara? Rach, trust me when I say you have zero competition for my heart. And, though I find your crazy jealousy all kinds of sexy, and it's nice to know how much you care, it's really unnecessary. Because, these hands?" Finn reached his free hand down to take her fingers between his own, twisting her hand so that he could place kisses all over it, trailing them to the inside of her wrist. He placed it on his chest. "These are the only hands I want on my body." Rachel held her breath as he brought his hand to her side and let his fingers travel up to brush her hair away from her neck. "And laughing? I love making you laugh. I love the sound of it. It comes from right here-," he tickled her throat with his fingertips and chased them with his lips, leaving feather light kisses on her neck. "- and it lights up my whole world. Laughing with you is one of my favorite things to do. Which, I believe brings me to the kissing-" Rachel's breathing had become short and erratic, this only intensified when Finn let his lips brush across her lips several times, not initiating a kiss, just touching their lips together ever so slightly. Rachel's eyes closed and her lips parted slightly as she let herself feel this man that had her mind, body, and soul. "-kissing you? It's what I was made to do," and with those whispered words, Finn closed the barely there gap and took her over in a kiss that was full of passion and need. Rachel whimpered as she pulled him closer, her back still pressed against the wall. Her hands fisted his hair as the things he was doing with his tongue made her body tremble. Her hands travelled across his shoulders, they gripped his face, they moved back around his neck. She wanted to touch him everywhere all at once. Finn's hands, meanwhile, made their way across her back and down to cup her butt, lifting her slightly. He detached his lips from hers to taste the skin of her neck and her exposed collar bone. The sounds of their heavy breathing and soft moans surrounded them and they forgot where they were as they got lost in each other.

"Do you wanna go to our room?" Finn asked, between pants, still not stopping his open mouthed kisses along her jaw.

"Please," Rachel breathed out, grasping his neck to pull his mouth back to her own. Her tongue met his immediately as his mouth closed over hers. She wrapped her leg around his, bringing him against her and feeling his intentions against her stomach.

The loud clearing of a throat from behind them was both startling and unwelcome. Finn and Rachel froze in place, her hands gripping his jacket in her fists, both of his hands clutching her face, and Finn turned slowly to find his brother standing behind them with his arms crossed disapprovingly.

"What, Kurt?" Finn growled, not even trying to disguise his irritation.

"I came to find you to tell you they are ready for you to give your best man speech, but instead I find what looks like a scene from one of those shows on National Geographic. Have you two no self control? Speech in ten minutes. That should be enough time to tame the beast." With a quick glance and a nod below Finn's belt, a tsk tsk, and a shake of the head, he turned and walked away leaving an embarrassed Finn and a giggling Rachel.

"This is all your fault you know?" Finn said teasingly, trying to adjust his clothes to cover up the predicament in his pants.

"My fault? Who is it that is backed up against this wall, again?

"You. But you got that way because you getting all jealous forced me to show you how completely you own me." Finn reluctantly turned away after one last kiss, lacing his fingers with hers as he led them back to the party.

"I do?" Rachel stopped walking to ask, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it all the same.

"You know you do, Babe. Always have. Always will," Finn replied, looking at her sincerely. It earned him a short kiss before Rachel continued walking, tugging on his hand.

As they reached the edge of the ballroom, Rachel had a sudden thought. "You still owe me a dance, Finn Hudson," she said.

"You can have 'em all, Miss Berry. They all belong to you anyway," he said as he pulled her onto the dance floor with a flourish, making her laugh out loud.

**OK... I hope you liked this little chapter as much as I liked writing it. As always, I want to stay true to these characters. I will update soon, I hope. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you will leave a review... they make me smile!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for your sweet reviews and your faithful reading of this story! I love entertaining you guys and I hope I continue to with this chapter!**

The party was drawing to a close and Rachel was standing in the middle of a near empty dance floor sheltered in Finn's loving arms. He had long since ditched his jacket and had loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves. Rachel could feel the heat of his skin through his thin dress shirt on her cheek and it brought a sense of comfort to her that she desperately longed to hold on to. The party had brought good times with good friends. They had all danced and performed and laughed and it had felt so reassuring that even time and distance wouldn't break the bond they all shared. The new kids had been speechless when the real New Directions showed them how it was done and it had felt amazing to be a part of something so special once again. But, now, with some of their friends already in their rooms and others sitting at tables with their shoes off, Finn and Rachel remained, lost in the feel of the other and enjoying the little bubble they had created around themselves. One of her arms was wrapped around his neck letting her fingers stroke his hair while her other hand laid engulfed in his as he held it against his heart keeping his other hand pressed to the small of her back. Only a few couples danced around them, the newly formed Schuester's among them.

"I still can't believe you caught the bouquet," Finn said quietly against Rachel's hair, breaking what had been quite a long silence.

Without moving her head from his chest she said, "Well, I don't know if catch is the word for it. It kind of just fell in my arms. Though, I swear Mrs. Schuester knew where she was aiming."

Finn chuckled low in his chest and it didn't go unappreciatd by the tiny girl he was holding against it. The low murmur of his laughter caused an ember to ignite in her belly and though she knew how this night was going to end eventually anyway, she kept it from erupting into an uncontrollable flame for just a little bit longer.

"Well after that, Mr. Schue didn't even try to be subtle about the garter, just walking over and handing it to me like that."

It was Rachel's turn to laugh, finally lifting her head from it's resting place and looking into Finn's eyes. "The look on your face was priceless!" She laughed out loud again and the sound of it put a look of adoration on Finn's face.

"Guess we aren't the only ones who have accepted this" he gestured between them still holding on to her hand, "as an inevitability."

Rachel's laughter faded into a warm smile. "Guess not," she said, affirming him and seeing him beam back at her at the same time. She returned her face to its original position and kept swaying with him slowly, breathing him in and cherishing the limited time she had to spend with him. She would be going back to New York in two days and she had no idea what happened next. She knew he wasn't going to come with her, which made her ill at the thought, and she knew he had a lot to figure out still; less than before but a lot all the same. But, being here, back in his arms, holding him, kissing him, touching him, making love to him? How was she ever going to give all of that up again? As if sensing her inner turmoil, Finn spoke.

"I don't know about you, but my feet are killing me. And I was thinking... we have that ridiculously large tub just sitting up there in your room..."

Rachel lifted her head to look at him. "I like the way you think, Finn Hudson," she said, taking his hand and turning to lead him away.

The sound of warm water breaking around their bodies could be heard intermittently as Finn and Rachel relaxed into the oversized tub, her back lying against his chest, thick bubbles almost rolling over the sides. They sat quietly for quite a long time, just enjoying the sensations that came from the intimacy of the moment. Finn played with Rachel's fingers, lifting her hand from the water and lacing his fingers through hers, pulling them out to caress her wrist, watching as bubbles made their way down her forearms. He brought her fingertips to his lips and kissed each one as Rachel looked on, her head falling back onto his shoulder, turning her head slightly into his neck.

"Mmmmm," she sighed, "why have we never done this before?" She spoke lazily but her voice held the thickness that comes with wanting someone as badly as she always wanted this man.

"Well... probably because neither of the tubs at either of our houses would have held just me, let alone both of us." Their bodies shook minutely with laughter awakening their senses just a little more. "And even if they did, it would have been a little harder to cover than sneaking in quickies before dinner."

"You got so much better about the quickie part with practice," she teased.

"Yeah," he mused dreamily.

Finn placed a long kiss on the side of her neck before letting his cheek fall onto her own, wrapping his arms all the way around her waist, able to feel the roundness of her breasts against his forearms and doing everything he could to just let the moment pass peacefully. His body betrayed him, however, and Rachel moved her back side against him gently to let him know it was perfectly alright with her. No matter how many times she did that to him, it never got old for her. The time would soon arrive for them to put that skill to good use, but they were both engrossed in the feeling of just being close for the time being. Rachel let her hand travel up and around Finn's neck to stroke the back of his head while he made tiny circles on her belly with his fingers.

"The ceremony was beautiful. They looked really happy. Didn't you think?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, they did," Finn answered, and Rachel could hear the smile in his voice.

"Mr. Schue looked like he was seeing a angel when Ms. Pillsbury came down the aisle," she said.

More silence followed. Finn brought one knee up to make himself more comfortable and Rachel reached her arm out to place her hand on top of it. She let her hand slide lightly up and down the front of his calf.

"Can I tell you something without you getting upset?" she lead, knowing she would ask anyway but giving him fair warning.

"You can tell me anything, Rach. Always. I promise," he said in earnest, the fervor in his words striking her heart.

"It made me think our wedding." She could feel his intake of breath but never felt it release. "You promised," she reminded him gently.

His air came out in a gush that ended with another sweet kiss on her hair. "I know. I just feel so guil-"

The word was stopped when her hand came up behind her to land against his lips.

"You. Promised." She whispered and smiled when she felt his kiss against her palm and he nodded his head in agreement. "It's not your fault. It wasn't the right time... yet." With those words she turned to see his face to make sure she saw peace on it. Satisfied, she continued. "I was thinking about your face when you saw me for the first time. And at the time, I was so taken by how handsome you were and how nervous I was that it took months to realize it, but no matter how many stages I sing on or how many awards I win or how many people pay to see me perform, no one will ever look at me with more adoration than you did in that moment. So, thank you. Thank you for being the person to give me that moment."

Finn pulled her chin around so that he could take her bottom lip between his own, sucking lightly before letting go. He went back in for one more, this time letting his tongue brush hers just slightly. "You're welcome. You made it easy, though. You literally took my breath away. I have never seen anything more heartbreakingly beautiful than you were when you came around that corner." His forehead fell to rest on hers.

Rachel shifted her body in the water to rest her side against Finn's chest, reaching up to hold his head in place by grasping the back of his neck, sliding her palm around to caress his cheek. "Thanks, Finn." He simply nodded in response and wrapped his arms fully around her body, pulling her as close as he could get her. She tucked her head into his neck letting the safest place she knew engulf her.

"And just think. I get to do it again … one more time," he said, a smirk forming on his face, his eyes focused far away into the future.

Rachel's head pulled back immediately with a million watts shining from it. "Yeah?"

"Of course," Finn said with certainty, a determined look in his eyes. Rachel took in his expression and her heart rate sped up. She smiled at him before folding herself back into him. "But next time I better get a kick ass wedding night," he said teasingly.

Rachel erupted into laughter, Finn joining her, and they laughed there together under their bubbles letting the ugly events of their past to fade into hope for their future.

As their laughter subsided and they caught their breath, Rachel whispered, "I've missed this so much, Finn. Just being in the same place with you, laughing with you, feeling you near me."

"Me, too," Finn said softly against her face.

Silence returned as both of them let the wonders of what was to happen next invade their thoughts, neither wanting to bring it up for fear of what answers may lie in the questions. Rachel was the first to broach the subject.

"I don't want to go back to missing it," she said, her voice low and somber. Her hands rested on top of his and she let her fingers find their way between his.

"I know. Neither do I," he said, sadness coloring his tone, he squeezed his fingers around hers and his hold on her tightened a little bit more.

Another few minutes of silence passed between them before Rachel rotated her head around so that she could see his face. Finn looked down at her with a sad smile, and unable to not, he kissed her wet lips lightly.

"What are we going to do about it?" she asked, finally asking the unasked question barely above a whisper.

Instead of answering right away because he had no answer if he was being honest, Finn reached around Rachel, took her loofah and poured whatever fruity smelling body wash she had laying out all over it. He let the suds gather and began lightly sliding it across her chest, moving it down her torso and bringing it back up to her collar bone. Rachel let her body go limp against him, her eyes closed enraptured in the feelings he was stirring up within her. His eyes followed the movements of his hands, watching as the water and soap left trails down her tanned skin.

"What are you thinking?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence.

"Well... I was thinking about what we talked about. About me being a teacher. I really think that's what I want to do, Rach." He was serious but clearly happy.

Rachel didn't move, afraid she might scare this revelation away. Was Finn really telling her that he finally knew what he wanted to do with his life? "Really?" she asked, trying to reign in her giddiness.

"Really."

Rachel moved to the other side of the tub away from Finn so that she could look him right in the eye. This felt like one of those moments in life that called for less wet naked skin contact and more soul to soul.

"Finn, that's amazing! And, I think you will change lives. If this is really, truly what you want then I am behind you all the way. I'll even come hold master classes for your students!" She was practically squealing now unable to contain her excitement any longer.

Finn laughed a laugh that only belonged to Rachel Berry and shook his head. "Ok. And thanks for that generous offer. There is no one better to make it. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves, Rach. I only have goal. I still have no idea how to get there."

"You need a music education degree, Finn. We just need to find you a place to get one," she said, making a move to get out of the tub to go grab her laptop. Large, strong hands caught her around the waist and pulled her into his bubble filled lap with a splash.

"Later," he said, his voice was husky, getting her attention quickly as if the hardness against her thigh wasn't enough. Her face was a breath away. "Right now, this is all I need."

"I'm so proud of you, Finn," Rachel said with as much sincerity as she could convey. Her hands were holding his face.

"I haven't even done anything yet," he said with a sheepish grin.

Rachel shook her head in wonderment over Finn's gross underestimation of himself. "When are you gonna get it? It's not about what you accomplish with me. It's about who you are and the things you do that may never get fanfare and acclaim. You gave me my dream. You took the time to find out what you really want. You have maintained a successful legacy that is near and dear to both of us. You haven't given up. I'm always gonna be proud of who you are, Finn, regardless of what you do."

"I love you," he said, needing no more words than those three.

"And I love you," she said with a shrug and with an inflection that indicated she was just stating the obvious.

Finn held her eyes with his for a long moment before finally moving in to kiss her because how could he not? As his lips surrounded hers, Rachel's arms laced around his neck, resting on his broad shoulders. The kiss began soft and tender. Both of them taking the time to feel every touch, every taste. Finn took her face in his hands and tilted it to the side so that he would have easier access to her whole mouth. His eyes opened when he probed her tongue with his own and quickly closed them when he heard her moan softly. The kiss began to pick up heat, Rachel maneuvering herself until she had a leg on either side of Finn's hips. The new contact brought groans from each of them that ended with an open mouthed breathy laugh before they continued their kissing. Hands roamed, mouths explored, water sloshed, and finally Rachel lifted herself slightly and lowered to become one with him. She rocked her hips against him, their eyes locked in an intense stare that lasted until Rachel's body clenched and she cried out, eyes closing, Finn following just behind her. Staying where she was, she fell against his chest, her face buried in his neck, littering it with feather light kisses.

Rachel awoke in the dark room amid the thick white bedding on the empty bed she found herself in. She sat up, scanning the room for Finn before finding him sitting in the chair in the corner, bare chested, in what she assumed were his black boxer briefs from earlier, though she couldn't be sure he was wearing anything with the positioning of her laptop that was illuminating his face.

"What are you doing, Babe? Come back to bed," she said sleepily, her voice cracking a little.

"I'll be there in a second. Go back to sleep. It was fun listening to you talk. I had no idea that Barbra was so good at hockey. Sounded like she was wiping the ice with you," he smirked at her over the top of the computer.

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Shut up, Finn!" She gathered the sheet around herself and walked toward him. "And I was totally winning." She grinned as she climbed into his lap, looping her arm around his shoulders. He made room for her, helping her to get settled. When her eyes fell on the screen she saw a photo of people studying on the grass under the heading "Brooklyn College," and she gasped.

"Finn?" she inquired, the one word asking a heavy question. Her eyes stayed on the computer along with his.

Without looking away from the screen he simply nodded and said, "I think so, Rach. I think so."

Letting the weight of what this meant sink in, neither of them said a word for awhile.

"Please say you aren't doing this just because I wan-"

"Rachel. No. Look, from what I've read on here, you're right. I just need to get a music ed degree. I can get that at any college in any city in any state in this country. But, there is only one city in one state in this country that has you. Look, last time I was there, I had no idea what I was doing or what I wanted to do. I realized very quickly that it wasn't what you're doing and it terrified me. We had always had performing in common and it scared me to death to think that we might no longer have that connection. And I was already feeling like a complete loser when I got there. Now, I have had time to get a glimpse of my potential. I could learn to be a teacher in the arts in the most artistic place in the whole world. And it says here that I have to have at least a 1000 on my SAT's and I got like a 1720. And my GPA was 3.0. I think I have a shot at getting in, especially with my experience with the club and the letters of recommendation I'll have. And this school is only like 25 minutes from your apartment. So, I could find a place to live somewh-"

He didn't get to finish the word because he was interrupted by a pair of full lips stopping his from moving. She kissed him because what she was feeling inside was a feeling of bursting and she just had to, right then and there, kiss him.

"Are you serious about this?" she asked, breathless.

"Absolutely," he said, never having looked more serious about anything else in his life other than the woman in his lap.

"Then stop talking like you are going to find any place with an address that isn't the same as mine. If you think we have gone through all of this so that you can finally... _finally_ come to New York and not live with me... you have never been more wrong."

"Are you sure Rach? I mean, I want to be there with you. More than anything," he tugged on the leg he was holding, "But, I just thought maybe we should take baby steps. This has all come together super fast and I don't want us to rush things and have it all blow up on us again... not this time. A lot has gone down with us and we have both changed a lot. I just want to make all the right moves, you know? This time, it's forever. No getting out of it. I can't do it all again. Can you?"

Rachel considered his words carefully. "No." she answered very quietly. Stillness fell over the room while they sat together making grown up decisions about a grown up future. "But, I also can't imagine living in the same city as you and not living in the same place. It was all part of my dream, you know. You were part of the dream. And, the loft still has an empty corner available. I mean," she said, trailing her finger across his bare chest coyly, "I'd rather you move right into my bed, but at least you'd be there at the start and end of every day. If you're really going to do this, please at least consider moving in with us. Kurt is a little picky, but you already know how to live with him. And Santana is abrasive sometimes but at least now she means well, and sure, she'll go through all your stuff while your gone, but she won't take anything... most of the time." They laughed together again and it reminded both of them just how strong the base of their relationship was and that base was called true friendship.

"I'll take that into consideration," he agreed. "But,we have some time to hammer out the details. There's still almost three months left until summer session starts and that's assuming I get in."

"You'll get in. You have to get in," Rachel demanded.

"While I appreciate your confidence in me, that's for the school to decide. But, wanna know a secret?"

Rachel nodded.

Finn put hand over her ear like a six year old girl talking to another six year old girl. He whispered, "I think this is actually going to happen."

With a squeal, Rachel threw her arms around him giving him reason to chuckle and squeeze her tight. He released her only to close the laptop and he stood, taking her up into his arms and carrying her back to the bed, lowering her back onto her pillow and crawling in beside her. In the quiet darkness, they lay cuddled together, minds racing with possibility, yet totally at peace. After awhile, Rachel's voice broke the silence.

"Finn?"

"Mmmm?" came his sleepy reply.

"I lied before."

Finn's eyes flew open with alarm. "About what?" he asked cautiously.

"Barbra was totally kicking my butt!"

Laughter was the last sound made in the room before "I love you" and "good night."

**I really hope you liked this one. I know it's fluffy, but I hope it's not too much and that it also presents a realistic view of how easy it could have been to get Finn to New York. I'll get him there... count on it! Reviews are like bubble baths... they make me happy!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, we have arrived at the last chapter. I am doing this one very differently because I am including the epilogue at the end of the chapter because both are pretty short. Good news is... for those of you who read I Don't Give Up That Easily and started I'm Rooting For You... I read over both of them this weekend and I think I'm ready to continue that journey... so there's that. Now, let's get Finn to NYC where we all know he belongs, shall we?**

For eight months Rachel had lived in New York City without him. She had gone to school without him. She had set up a home without him. Hell, she had moved a guy in with her without him. So, why was it that after only two months since she had said goodbye to him at the Columbus airport, she now felt the same vacant hole in her heart that she had felt while he was off "backpacking through Georgia?" She leaned against her headboard listening to the rain pattering on the street outside her window, missing him like one would miss breathing. Her History of Theatre textbook lay neglected in her lap. Five days. Just five days in his presence was all it took to derail her plans of getting over Finn Hudson. She wasn't mad about it, not at all, she was merely accepting the inevitable. Finn would call it the universe doing its thing. She briefly wondered what he was doing at that moment, smiled at the thought of him, and returned her attention to the studying she was actively ignoring. She was just catching up with Chekov and his Cherry Orchard when, as if on cue, her Skype alert from Finn sounded. She had to stop herself from clapping like a seal and squealing like a four year old being tickled. Wanting to appear the cool, together woman she had worked so hard to become, she waited one more ring before answering.

"Hey, You," he said, smiling from ear to ear when her face appeared on his ipad screen.

"Hey, Yourself," she returned, barely containing her excitement. "How was your day?"

"It was good. Really good. I'm still at the school, actually. Just wrapping up a few things before I go home. But, I just wanted to see your face."

Rachel blushed at his sweetness and gave him a shy smile. "I'm glad you did. Is it everything you'd hoped it would be?"

"More," he said seriously, making her heart skip two beats. "How was your day? Did you get your studying done?"

Rachel held up her book briefly. "Not exactly. I've read the first two paragraphs like forty seven times but I can't tell you anything that's in them. It seems I can only focus on one thing today."

"What's that?"

"You."

"Yeah?" he said, touched at her sentiment.

"Yeah," she said lovingly.

"Well, as flattering as that is, you really can't let me be the downfall of the institution that is Ms. Rachel Berry," he said teasingly, but his supportiveness shown through.

"Never," she said with a smirk. Her smile faltered slightly before she hesitatingly asked, "Have you heard anything yet? From CUNY?" She immediately sensed his discomfort and when he opened his mouth to speak she stopped him. "You know what? We don't have to talk about it. It's still early-"

Just then, they were interrupted by Kurt, who poked his head through Rachel's curtain. "Rachel-" Noting her iPad in her lap, he realized his intrusion. "Oh. Sorry. Hi, big brother!" he called out loudly.

"Hey, Kurt!" Finn yelled back.

"Rachel, I was just coming to ask you if you want to go see a movie with me? Santana bailed, which isn't the worst thing considering I didn't really want to sit next to her in a dark theatre trying to disappear when she pulls burritos out of her purse for a movie snack." He rolled his eyes while Rachel and Finn both laughed, knowing he wasn't exaggerating.

"Kurt, I would love to come with you, but I have to study," Rachel said, genuinely disappointed.

"You've been studying all day," he said, still trying to convince her.

"Welllll... that's not exactly true. I've had the book open all day, but not much studying has taken place," she said, defeated.

Kurt suddenly stepped closer, throwing himself onto Rachel's bed to glare at the screen in her lap. "I blame you for this, you know?" he said, feigning his irritation toward his brother.

"Dude, chill. I just now called her." Finn said with his own eye roll.

"Maybe that's true, but I would bet my brand new Prada Spazzalatos that you still provided the distraction whether she could see you or not," he said, haughtily. Smirking between the two of them, he could see that he was correct in his assumption by the sheepish looks he was getting. "Now, if I promise to help you stay focused, will you pleeeeease come with me? I'll give you first crack at why the film would be better with you in it... I'll go second this time." Rachel couldn't help but giggle at her friend and his coercion face and his tactic crafted just for her.

"OK," she relented, "but you have got to help me when we get back." Rachel suddenly found herself under a hug assault.

"Bye, Finn," Kurt chirped as he sprang from the bed on the energy of getting his way.

Shaking his head Finn with a smile still on his face he said, "I really wish I was there with you guys, you know?" His tone was sad and it pierced Rachel's heart.

"I know, Babe. I wish you were, too," she said sympathetically. "Soon, though. I just know it."

Finn nodded, accepting her encouragement. "Soon."

"Raaaaacheeelllll," Kurt yelled from the front of the loft.

Rachel simply turned her head toward the noise and back to fix her gaze on her favorite face in the world. "I gotta go," she said softly, regretfully.

"I know. Call me later? After you study?" he asked.

"Of course," she said. "Finn?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you." Her tone was deathly serious, as it had been every time she had uttered those words for the last two months. They seemed to hold more meaning now. Carry more weight.

"I love you, too, Rach," he said, matching her intensity. "Talk to you soon." And with that, his face was gone. Rachel stared at her background for a second or two before sighing heavily and lifting herself from her bed to join Kurt for an afternoon at the cinema.

"- and don't even get me started on that accent. Please. Was she supposed to be from Russia or Australia? Because it seemed to me that even she didn't know," Rachel spoke rapidly as she and Kurt ascended the steps to their apartment. "OK... your turn. Go!"

"I think you covered all the bases," Kurt said as he unlocked their sliding door and pulled it open, stepping through.

"What? Sense when does Kurt Hummel not want to..." Rachel lost her words when she looked up to see a warmly lit room with one Finn Hudson standing in the dead center of it, arms folded across his chest, breathtaking smile on his face. Her bag hit the floor with a thud and she looked to Kurt for a brief moment only to see his victory smirk firmly planted on his lips. Just over Finn's shoulder in the corner across from her own, hung two curtains forming a large square with the walls. An old oak queen sized bed peeked through made up with navy and russet striped bedding. And when what was happening finally registered in her brain, her hands flew to her trembling lips and the tears flowed freely. She didn't even notice when Kurt slipped back outside because her eyes were focused with laser like intensity on the man taking slow, sure steps in her direction. When he finally reached her, he smiled ever so gently before taking her hands in his own and pulling them away from her face. His eyes never left hers as he bent slightly to bring his face closer, taking in the way her lip trembled still.

"I'm home," he whispered.

A sob broke free on a laugh from Rachel just before she launched herself into Finn's arms. Her arms locked around his neck, she cried freely into his neck. He lifted her slightly and held her to him so tightly that he was almost afraid he was hurting her. All of it. The whole past year had brought them here. To this moment. All the pain and the wandering and the longing and the tears. And as the two of them stood, clinging to one another in the silence of their home, one thing was crystal clear. The universe had totally outdone itself.

**Epilogue**

In the three months since Finn had moved in, things had definitely changed around the loft. For one thing, Santana had finally stopped walking from the shower to her room completely naked when she forgot to bring a towel. It hadn't been a problem living with a gay dude and another girl, but Rachel was quick to set boundaries when her Finn arrived. Even though Santana was no longer interested in males of any kind, and the past was in the past, it would always nag Rachel's subconscious that Finn had ever been with her in that way. Rachel still had her corner and Finn had his, though no one really saw the point. They wasted no time reconnecting in every way possible. Finn would go through the pretense of walking into the hall just to "pick her up" for their dates. They spent many hours sharing and going over the things that tore them apart. He helped her study, she did the same. They watched movies curled up together in one of their beds. They made love in all kinds of new ways, but every night, no matter what, Finn retreated to his room at the end of their time together. That's not to say that there was the occasional sleepover or wee hours visit, but he was adamant they maintain separate quarters until the timing was right. "We don't need to rush this, Rachel. It's got to be forever this time. And forever is worth taking our time, dontcha think?" Finn would say. But, somewhere in the back of her irrational mind, she was beginning to wonder if he even wanted to share the space with her anymore. And it just so happened that on this particular day when Rachel woke up alone, again, that she decided enough was enough. She began to actually get mad at Finn for being so weird about simply combining their rooms and downsizing to only one bed. She wanted him there with her when she awoke in the middle of the night. She craved his warmth and the unwavering security she always felt in his arms. She wanted his perfect freckled face to greet her every morning when she started her day. She knew what he would say though, and when her feet hit the floor her foul mood set in for the day. It was Saturday and Kurt was taking his routine walk in the park and Santana was back home for a quick visit. Her Abuela had finally come around and had paid for her trip home. It was a sweet moment with the four friends celebrating such a blessing together. But, that left an irritated Rachel and an oblivious Finn to have breakfast together.

"Good morning, Beautiful," he called from the stove where he stood clad in his plaid pajama pants, bare feet, and thin grey V neck flipping pancakes. He bent to kiss her as she passed, but she ignored his overture, leaving him hanging, and continued to the coffee pot.

"Good morning," she chirped back with an edge to her voice and a rigidness to her body. A body that immediately captured Finn's undivided attention because it was walking around in a bright red #5 jersey with a pair of toned and toasted legs presenting themselves from underneath it.

His Angry Rachel senses began tingling, as well as other things, but he ignored both in order to finish breakfast. "How'd you sleep?" he asked, testing the waters, knowing they were rough, but not knowing why.

"Fine," was her short response as she plopped herself into the kitchen chair with her coffee and began rifling through the paper for the entertainment section, cursing under her breath when she realized Kurt must have taken it.

Yep. She was mad. But, for the life of him he couldn't come up with a reason why.

Turning off the stove and carrying the plate of pancakes to the table, he eyed her cautiously. It wasn't one of their anniversaries. He hadn't missed Barbra's birthday. He chose the strategy of just carry on like normal and the bomb will drop eventually. It had always worked for him in the past.

"Hungry? I made pancakes, I hope that's OK," he said.

"It's fine," she said curtly, pulling one onto her plate and reaching for the syrup.

Finn pursed his lips and watched as she very obviously pretended to read the international news section of the paper while she chewed. They ate in silence, Rachel using the paper as a barrier and Finn staring at it wondering what she was thinking back there behind it. Rachel stood and took both of their plates to the sink and began running water to wash the dishes. Finn sat back in his chair at the table and continued to watch her. He didn't think it was fair that he was so obviously in trouble for something yet he had no clue what it was. Sure, he was used to Rachel's dramatics, but she never ever made him guess why she was mad. She never had. So, her behavior today was all the more confusing.

"Rachel," he called out cautiously. "Wanna tell me why you're icing me out this morning. You know I'm not good at guessing."

"I'm not 'icing you out,' Finn," she said unconvincingly.

Finn gawked at her incredulously. "Then what are you doing? Because, you haven't made eye contact since you came in here and there are only so many uses of the word 'fine' I can hear before I start to wonder what I've done to piss you off."

"Just leave it alone, Finn. I'm fine," she said as she rinsed the plates.

"Fine again," he muttered, pushing his chair back quietly in order to stand up and begin his walk across the room to where she stood.

She turned so suddenly he flinched and threw her drying towel onto the countertop next to her. "OK, Finn. You wanna know why I'm so upset?"

He nodded as if she actually expected or needed a response. Her arms crossed and she leaned against the sink behind her.

"Fine-" they shared a look over her use of the word- "In all the time I spent dreaming of you being here with me there was always one thing that I looked forward to the most. And that was sharing a life with you. Sharing a sink to brush our teeth, doing our laundry together, waking up with you, going to sleep with you. And while I have those things, mostly, I never pictured you sleeping in a different room to do it. And, I get why it needed to be that way in the beginning and I agreed wholeheartedly. I even admired you for sticking to it and being such a gentleman. It made me love you even more. But, it's been three months and I'm starting to wonder if it's still just you taking things slow, or maybe you'd just rather not be that close to me."

She had to look away as she finished because she only half way thought that was true and she also knew how unreasonable she was behaving and was having a hard time looking him in the eyes. But, she finally braved it and saw a very contemplative Finn looking back at her. He was a mere step away and his closeness began to effect her as she watched him. His eyes narrowed in thought, his warmth radiating from his body. He held her eyes captive as she awaited his reaction to what she had just confessed. She wished she knew what he was thinking because the waiting was making her anxious. She wanted him to say something, anything, so that she wouldn't feel so vulnerable. But, his response didn't come in words.

With lightning fast precision, Finn dropped to his knees and crawled into Rachel's jersey from the bottom, lifting her surprised, giggling body to sit on the counter as he straightened his body to pull his head almost back through the neck along with hers. As it landed, though, they both found themselves forehead to forehead inside his old shirt. Finn couldn't help but let his eyes wander to her bare breasts in front of him, but willed his eyes back to meet hers.

With a wicked grin he said, "This close enough for you?"

He was met with her laughter and a good natured "You're insane, you do know this right?"

His forehead still pressed to her own, his hands around her waist inside their little cocoon, he said, "I'm insane? You just stood here and accused me of not wanting to be close to you and you did it with a straight face. That is the very definition of insane." She let her eyes drop away, ashamed of herself. "Look at me," she brought her eyes back up to meet his, "If I could live in this shirt with you for the rest of my life, I still would not be close enough to you. Baby, I've only been holding back because I didn't want us to screw this up again. But, I've gotten used to being here now and we've talked through so much, maybe it's time for us to become a one bed family."

Her smile could have lit up the entire eastern seaboard. "Really? And this has nothing to do with the fact that I was just acting like an impetulent five year old who didn't get the pony she asked for or the fact that you are in kissing distance of my naked breasts?"

A mischievous smirk crossed Finn's features. "Well, that's not a fair question, now is it? You know that your breasts have the ability to render me incapable of making sound decisions." They laughed. "But, this is nothing I wasn't already thinking about. And, next time you want something just ask. You scared the crap out of me earlier."

"I'm sorry, Finn," she said sincerely. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you, too. Even if you are a dramatic pain in the ass sometimes," he teased, eliciting an indignant huff from her that he cut off in a deep and lingering kiss. Their heads were still locked together under that jersey and his hands were wandering wherever they pleased and before long, they both realized they needed to take their little show to a more private venue.

Out of breath and turned on to the point of bursting, Finn said, "Want to take this to our room?" before continuing to blaze a path of desire down the side of Rachel's neck.

"Oh my God, that sounds amazing," Rachel said, lost in her own want for this man. But, her head snapped up quickly. "Our room? Are you sure?"

Without removing himself from under the shirt with her, he wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her, turning to clumsily walk them to her corner.

"Never been more sure of anything in my life," he said as he slipped them past the curtain and onto their bed.

Coming home had never felt so good.

**So there we have it, the end. I had to do the epilogue because that has been in my head for weeks. I so hope you enjoyed it. Like I said before, I am sketching out I'm Rooting For You and I hope to get it started next week, but I'm gonna get a few chapters ahead before I start posting so that you won't have to wait as long for updates. I love you all for reading and reviewing and supporting and I hope you'll follow me on my next journey with my two favorite imaginary friends!**


End file.
